Diver: Andy from Nini’s Taqueria
Interesting facts: After 11 years at Nini’s, Andy is on schedule to roll his 1,000,000.00th burrito sometime in July. Stay tuned.

Dear Diver,
I lived in Durango for a while, but moved away a bit ago. I sure do miss stopping into Storyville to catch Greg Oldson and the Brown Brothers playing a dinner set. And those ½ price pizzas on Tuesday nights at Farquarhts – that bartender, Mark Daley was always cracking me up. But the thing that I long for most back in my old home town is a huge, fresh cinnamon schneck from the front bakery counter at Carvers. How’s the ol’ gang doing? How are the ol’ stomping grounds?
– Sincerely, Home Sick
Dear Home Sick,
Everything is just as you left it. Greg and the Brown Brothers were just rockin’ Lori’s last week and The Pelican’s Nest still has the best Kamikazes in town. Your ole buddy Mark is tending bar at both Father Murphy’s and Solid Muldoons. Yup, nothing has changed, except those schnecks from Carver’s front bakery counter may just be even schneckier than ever. But I guess that some change is inevitable. So jump in the old Gremlin and swing on down for a visit sometime.
– Diver
 

Dear Diver,
I’ve been watching the Stanley Cup playoffs and noticed that some of the players, in keeping with custom, are letting their beards grow, while others appear to be clean shaven. It seems to be mostly the Canadian teams that are breaking with the tradition, is it because they can’t grow facial hair? Or is it some sort of covert anti-American sentiment?
– Scratching My Chin
Dear Chin Scratcher,
Facial hair growth amongst hockey players has nothing to do with nationality and everything to do with science and height. Rinks use freon gas to keep the ice surface rock hard and freon, a known exfoliate, becomes completely inert above 5’8.” Only hockey players with heads, and chins, above this level can maintain their furry appearance. This obviously explains the rapid demise of Disney’s “Frodo on Ice.”
– Diver
 

Dear Diver,
I can’t believe people have the audacity to complain when it rains in Durango! What is wrong with them? Has the drought shriveled away their short-term memories? Or are they all secret pyromaniacs?
– Dusty
Dear Dusty,
If you’ve spent your entire life turning on a faucet and having as much water as you could ever wish for come splashing out, then the word “drought” is as real to you as earthquakes in Kurglugiktstan or Kmart in Durango. Therefore rain, during its rare appearances, creates very real problems in many a Durangoan’s tiny universe. One errant drop can knock the mint-cocoa sprinkles off your triple-shot flappa-choco-canyon-chino. Not only can your bike ride be ruined, but your Lycra-infused Spandex knickers can be rendered invisible. And just try to get a hold of any landscaper in town to reprogram your sprinkler system so as not to over moisten your succulents. At least we still have plastic bags to use to protect out stylish hair-dos.
– Diver