Diver: J.E. Lynch
Interesting Facts: Catch me diving every fifth Friday of the month at Schoolbar aka Ye Olde Schoolhouse. Or maybe not.

Dear Diver,
With the constant nuclear threat from Iran only getting worse as time goes on, what are your best tips for surviving the apocalypse?
– Sincerely, Unprepared

My Fateful Unprepared,
Survival is assured, so long as you embrace apocalypse as an eventuality. Nah … I kid. We’re all doomed … but I hear ducking & covering totally works.
– Don’t Worry, Be Happy, Diver   

Dear Diver,
I think my neighbor has been secretly using my singlestream recycling bin. I know there’s a waiting list and I hate to discourage recycling, but those things cost money and basically, he’s freeloading off of me. And if this keeps up, I’ll have to upgrade to the 90 gallon size. How do I broach this subject tactfully so as not to upset the neighborly balance?
– Feeling Used
Listen Across the Way Neighbor Who is ‘Feeling Used,’
That was your bin? Oops. My bad. I’ll just trash the alley instead. I didn’t know you hated Mother Earth so much. I’ll simply go back to mixing my soiled recyclables, dumpster tipping and excessive & errant littering so that you and yours can keep your recycling separate but equal.
– No, really. I’m Sorry L, Diver
Dear Diver,
I finally got a “place of my own,” and am thinking about making my home complete by adopting a dog from the shelter. What sorts of tips does the diver have for choosing a well-tempered companion? Any red flags I should look out for? Also, what is the ultimate “Durango dog?”
– Doggy Daddy

Hey There Pal!
Firstly, congrats on the autonomy! Secondly, I say let your new furry friend choose you. Support your local shelter and rescue TODAY. I mean it. No sarcasm. And don’t discriminate! Consider a feline follower! Ugh! I just LOVE cats. Anyhoo, I respect your decisions to adopt … wholeheartedly. If it were me, I’d rescue a mastiff, pit-bull, St. Bernard or Rottweiler, as I firmly believe that dogs that need the most love give the most love. Best of luck!
– Altruistically yours, Diver