Diver: Daniel-Son

Interesting facts: Mistakenly identified as the star of Karate Kid part 1, 2 and 3.

Dear Diver,
So, I have a super skiddish dog, and with the fireworks/thunder storm season upon us, I was wondering about getting one of those “thunder shirts” for him. But before I invest all the money ($40!) I was wondering if it’s really worth it. I mean, can a tight-piece of neoprene really make him feel secure and protect against separation anxiety, or is it just the latest gimmick to separate me from my hard-earned money? And more importantly, do you think “thunder shirts” work on humans?
– Thor
Dear Thunder Thor,
Let me start off by answering your question with a question:  if “over 80 percent of dogs show improvement” are good enough odds for you, by all means, roll the dice. After all, man’s best friend, huh? While you’re at it, get it custom embroidered for only 10 bucks more. If you’re too much of a cheapskate, get creative and use one of your ol’ glory days college T-shirts and some duct tape and have at it. As for Thunder Shirts working on humans, ask someone at CrossFit; they all seem to wear super tight shirts.
– Diver    

 

Dear Diver,
What is up with people who ride up your ass in the super market checkout line while you are still checking out? I find it extremely annoying not to mention rude.  How can I get these agro-shoppers to back off and relax?
– Checking Out as Fast as I Can
Dear Turbo Check Out,
This Diver wholeheartadly believes that any supermarket is the best sample representation of any given population. Having said that, I’ll go out on a limb and assume the peeps riding you aren’t the ones you would call hotties. May I suggest you lay off the full complement of Axe body care products, and skip the Beano. The effects would be twofold: not only would your B.O. and alcohol smell detract the would-be check out line riders from gettin’ all up in your grill, your flatulence would help create a comfortable barrier. Helllloooo? Three feet of personal space.
– Diver

 

Dear Diver,
My family is making a trip out here this summer to visit, but our time together is limited. How do we make the most of every precious second together while taking advantage of the best Durango has to offer? What are the diver’s picks for the best family vacation diversions? We don’t wanna miss a single thing!
– Clark Griswold
Dear Mr. Chase,
I trust you have already carefully watched/rewatched the entire National Lampoon’s “Vacations” series. If not, the Toh Atin Gallery is the place to start. How could they possibly return home without a stupendous collection of Kachina dolls? Next up is Bakers Bridge; classic Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. They could go home bragging about how they saw the scene from the movie. “The fall will probly’ kill ‘ya.” Lastly, take them to Gazpachos for a generous helping of green chili, cause people not from ‘round here, just don’t get it.
– Diver