I, for one, am glad to have survived 2012. Not that I didn’t have my doubts:  there were avalanches, forest fires, a Mayan apocalypse, an election, and a really big bike race where I was afraid of being trampled by 40,000 Pro-Cycling fans. But I have escaped the natural and man-made disasters of 2012 and even those obstacles of my own making, and I’m ready to greet the next challenge.

 

With another year comes the inevitable retrospection and hopeful resolutions that characterize this holiday of hangovers and heartbreak. While I agree with the desire for changing that which one finds undesirable in life, I hate the cliché of resolutions. All too often they are superficial and inevitably become superseded by bad habits.

 

So, with nothing more than the sagacious power of print, I will pass judgment on the not-so-good, mostly bad, and all-around ugly cliché New Year’s resolutions.

 

- Lose weight and exercise more: By far the most popular and most failed of all resolutions. If resolutions are a manifestation of our desire for self-improvement and happiness, then this goal is blatantly a desire to be attractive – in other words, healthy. But health does not come from the weight room, though lifting and cardio. In fact, I can think of nothing more depressing (and stinky) than a crowded gym in January. Perhaps instead, readers should try new means of exercise, whether you play pick-up basketball in the gym with college kids and Super Stars of the ’80s, try your new skate skis at Hillcrest, or do the bar crawl down Main and walk the cold mile home at 2 a.m. (by far the most bang for your buck. You’ll be sober by the time you get home. For extra endurance building, try to run up the bowls at the skate park. You’ll feel it in the morning if you manage to get out.)

 

- Stop smoking: Duh. No seriously. Stop. No excuses. This is Durango, smoke weed if you must redirect your oral fixation. Studies provided by the people who fought to legally sell marijuana will tell you that marijuana is far less dangerous and addictive than nicotine. And more fun. Plus, nicotine stinks.

 

- Eat better: It’s not that I disagree with this particular resolution, it’s that I think we need a better definition. Ordering a salad if it’s covered in creamy Caesar dressing is not healthy, per se, and pizza if made with fresh vegetables and limited cheese is not bad for you (I think). Americans, if I can blatantly generalize without any credible knowledge to back up my statement, often do not know how to balance their diet. For myself, a forbidden brownie is an eaten brownie. (My boyfriend says this particularly attractive quality I have is not limited to chocolate baked goods). I do not believe I’m alone, and so my advice is to eat a better balance of food. Eat lots of local salads. Make hearty veggie soup and dip fresh baked bread that’s slathered in butter into the rich broth. Cook your own food, be in touch with the origins and flavors of your favorite dishes – and pour yourself a glass of wine whilst cooking, it will help your creativity. Which brings me to my next resolution ...

 

- Drink less:  I think that unless you have recently joined a fraternity (in which case you probably should drink less) that this resolution is another victim of improper naming. You should resolve to drink better. This means, as much as you like the “smooth” Keith Stone commercials, leave the Keystone on the liquor store shelf and hit one of the many local craft breweries in this town. If you actually like beer, you will like something they brew. Also, they have more alcohol content per pint, which means that economically your purchase will even out. There is less water than found in commercial light beers, however, and one must make sure to hydrate. Which brings me to the next stage of drinking “better:” know what you like, order it and avoid the peer-pressure shot that is sure to make you sick. I know that you are reading this post-New Year’s Eve, and most likely, reader, you have already re-learned this rule for 2013, but it never hurts to reiterate.

 

-And drink water.

 

-Save money:  Don’t get me wrong, I like money, but speaking as a writer/bartender, it’s obviously not what makes my world turn round. Also, I’m not very good at saving, as you may have guessed from my previous advice encouraging readers to spend more money on food and alcohol. But I will say, I can save money for a purpose. And while money in the bank is a wonderful feeling, so is adventure. Whether it’s in the form of travel to foreign lands, or a new backcountry ski set up, tickets to your favorite concert or an education, it’s not wasted. Remember to live your life, not just save up for it.

 

So, if you’ve gotten over your hangover, raise your glass of craft beer or 21-year-old scotch whisky and let’s toast to health and happiness in 2013.

– Maggie Casey