by Willie Krischke

I ’m getting tired of reviewing animated children’s films and saying “it’s not Pixar” – and it’s growing irrelevant, as Pixar’s last two outings were disappointing. Nonetheless, the run from “Toy Story” in ‘95 to “Toy Story 3” in 2010 – 11 classic animated films with nary a dud in the bunch – set the bar so high it’s impossible NOT to compare everything else to those films.

 “Epic” wants to be classic and grand, strives to be on a level with Pixar, but falls short. What’s interesting is where it falls short. It pretty much nails the epic scenes, the big action pieces. They are exciting and graceful, sometimes approaching breathless. And it looks great, no doubt. But “Epic” crumbles badly in the in-between scenes, the ones that make the action matter. The characters feel thin, like cardboard cutouts or on loan from a stock animation company. We have the gruff protector who struggles to express his love for anybody or anything. The reckless-but-talented young buck who butts heads with him, but does the right thing when the chips are down. The Abbott and Costello sidekicks (a slug and a snail.)

But the worst of the bunch is the villain. Christoph Waltz voices the character, and that ought to be a casting jackpot – Waltz was one of the most chilling villains of recent years in “Inglourious Basterds.” But the writers and directors of “Epic” have no idea what to do with him.

Actually, I felt a bit sorry for the bad guy, whose name is Mandrake. He’s the ruler of a kingdom of rot and decay, diametrically opposed to the kingdom of life ruled by Queen Tara and her Leaf Men. Tara is voiced by Beyonce, who, with her distinctive urban/slang dictation, seems like a weird choice for Queen of the Forest, but whatever. Early in the action, Mandrake’s oafish son is killed by a Leaf Man, and apparently reproduction is extremely difficult for tiny creatures of the forest, because Queen Tara has one chance in a hundred years to produce an heir, by picking a water lily pod and making sure it blooms in the moonlight. So Mandrake decides to steal the pod, make sure it blooms in the dark, and thus claim the progeny as his own. So basically, the bad guy is just looking to replace his dead son. That’s not so terribly evil and villainous, is it?

The first half hour is annoying and laborious, dominated by clunky exposition and a terrible performance from Jason Sudeikis as the only big person who believes Leaf Men exist. He is basically Rick Moranis from “Honey I Shrunk the Kids” minus any of the charisma and cuteness. But once all the exposition and big people are out of the way, “Epic” picks up steam. That’s because the characters stop talking and start swooping around on hummingbirds and stuff. It looks good, it moves great, but it somehow lacks that sense of enchantment that it so desperately needs. 

    
I got the feeling that the producers and animators spent the majority of their time and resources on the action scenes, and then hurriedly wrote the scenes in between them. To put it succinctly, “Epic” isn’t.

If you’re all excited about seeing an animated flick about tiny people, let me recommend last year’s overlooked and underrated “The Secret World of Arrietty,” from Studio Ghibli, creators of kids’ classics like “My Neighbor Totoro” and “Spirited Away.” “Arrietty’s” a much more carefully crafted tale, and captures the wonder and magic of being 6 inches tall in a world made for much bigger folks.