Dive
r: The 6th Street Liquor crew
Interesting facts: The 6th Street guys enjoy napping in public places
Dear Diver,
All these crazy cyclists pedaling around lately has sparked an age-old debate. What’s the deal with male cyclists shaving their legs? Is it for aerodynamics or fashion?
– Harry in Hermosa.
Dear Harry,
Male cyclists aren’t the only people that see the benefits to smooth legs. I know I definitely enjoy a freshly shaved leg. Sometimes it’s nice to just light some candles, close your eyes and caress a hairless thigh. And if there isn’t another person with smooth legs readily available, why not stroke your own smooth leg skin? Shaved stems look hot, ride fast, and feel sexy.
– Later smooth operator, Diver
Dear Diver,
My boyfriend and I have a serious disagreement. I am a South City Market devotee while he is one of those North City Market snobs. I find the north location to be cramped and I can never find anything and the organic selection sucks. He says he doesn’t care for the clientele of SCM, saying it is scummy and “seedy.” However, I regard the regular cast of characters down there as all part of the funky experience that is Durango. So, which City Market is better? And more importantly, if we can’t agree on this, is the relationship doomed?
– Southside Girl
Dear Southie,
Tell your boyfriend to loosen up. I prefer South City Market. Not just for the clientele, but it’s also nice to shop in a store where the construction gives the ambiance of a war zone. If he can’t tolerate a little seediness while buying his Lunchables, then you should dump the square. If you don’t, then get used to eating the same boring cereal from the same boring store for the rest of your life.
–Sleepless in City Market,
Diver
Dear Diver,
What is up with people who drive great big trucks cramming their big rear ends into teeny, tiny parking spaces, where the end sticks out into the street, impedes traffic and makes it damned near impossible to safely pull out if one of those behemoths is parked right next to you? And, do they really need those huge cattle guards on the front taking up even more space? It’s not like they run the risk of hitting a rhino. Why, Diver, do they insist on cramming their 10 pounds of crap in a 5 pound bag like it don’t stink?
– Parking Nazi
Dear Monster Truck Hater,
Everyone knows that certain men buy big, obnoxious, trucks. Generally, the larger the truck, the more room there is in the crotch of the truck owner’s pants. So for these people, parking is one of the few instances when they can feel what it’s like to put something big into something small. It may be annoying for the rest of us to drive and park around these overcompensating vehicles, but at least for one brief moment they know what it’s like to fully satisfy and fill a space. Even if it only lasts as long as it takes to park their truck.
– Big trucks come with small packages,
Diver
r: The 6th Street Liquor crewInteresting facts: The 6th Street guys enjoy napping in public places
Dear Diver,
All these crazy cyclists pedaling around lately has sparked an age-old debate. What’s the deal with male cyclists shaving their legs? Is it for aerodynamics or fashion?
– Harry in Hermosa.
Dear Harry,
Male cyclists aren’t the only people that see the benefits to smooth legs. I know I definitely enjoy a freshly shaved leg. Sometimes it’s nice to just light some candles, close your eyes and caress a hairless thigh. And if there isn’t another person with smooth legs readily available, why not stroke your own smooth leg skin? Shaved stems look hot, ride fast, and feel sexy.
– Later smooth operator, Diver
Dear Diver,
My boyfriend and I have a serious disagreement. I am a South City Market devotee while he is one of those North City Market snobs. I find the north location to be cramped and I can never find anything and the organic selection sucks. He says he doesn’t care for the clientele of SCM, saying it is scummy and “seedy.” However, I regard the regular cast of characters down there as all part of the funky experience that is Durango. So, which City Market is better? And more importantly, if we can’t agree on this, is the relationship doomed?
– Southside Girl
Dear Southie,
Tell your boyfriend to loosen up. I prefer South City Market. Not just for the clientele, but it’s also nice to shop in a store where the construction gives the ambiance of a war zone. If he can’t tolerate a little seediness while buying his Lunchables, then you should dump the square. If you don’t, then get used to eating the same boring cereal from the same boring store for the rest of your life.
–Sleepless in City Market,
Diver
Dear Diver,
What is up with people who drive great big trucks cramming their big rear ends into teeny, tiny parking spaces, where the end sticks out into the street, impedes traffic and makes it damned near impossible to safely pull out if one of those behemoths is parked right next to you? And, do they really need those huge cattle guards on the front taking up even more space? It’s not like they run the risk of hitting a rhino. Why, Diver, do they insist on cramming their 10 pounds of crap in a 5 pound bag like it don’t stink?
– Parking Nazi
Dear Monster Truck Hater,
Everyone knows that certain men buy big, obnoxious, trucks. Generally, the larger the truck, the more room there is in the crotch of the truck owner’s pants. So for these people, parking is one of the few instances when they can feel what it’s like to put something big into something small. It may be annoying for the rest of us to drive and park around these overcompensating vehicles, but at least for one brief moment they know what it’s like to fully satisfy and fill a space. Even if it only lasts as long as it takes to park their truck.
– Big trucks come with small packages,
Diver
In a sticky situation?
Seek help from the master of the In-Sinkerator. The diver has the solutions to life’s little messes. Send your problems to, “Ask the Diver:"
- 1309 E. Third Ave., Room 25 Durango, CO, 81301
- fax (970) 259-0488
- telegraph@durangotelegraph.com
- 1309 E. Third Ave., Room 25 Durango, CO, 81301
- fax (970) 259-0488
- telegraph@durangotelegraph.com