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Interesting facts: Jazzercise is Dunbar’s calling and he has studied under the guru Earth Child
Dear Diver,
There is something that has been nagging me since the dawning of the digital age. What does the “com” stand for in “dotcom?” Please pardon my ignorance if it is really obvious, but I just can’t figure it out and don’t want to look stupid if everyone in the free world knows but me.
– Com-fused
Dear Comfused,
“Com” stands for “commercial.” Next time you get confused, get on your laptop, tablet or smart phone and Google the answer. You’ll get a response in about .0002 seconds. Then write the answer down. That is, if spell check hasn’t ruined your ability to spell and write properly.
After that, go buy a book. If you can’t afford a book because you maxed out your forth credit card on that super cool 3D TV, go to the library. It’s a mysterious place were they will just give you books for free. After you finish reading or coloring your new book, find someone and tell them what you’ve just learned.
– Diver
Dear Diver,
Please help settle an argument a friend and I have been having for years. His birthday is on leap day, Feb. 29, and he insists on telling people he is 10, since he only counts his birthday every four years. But his creative math is driving me crazy. I say, just because you’ve only had 10 birthdays does not mean you are only 10 years old. Who is right? Or is it useless to try to argue with a 10-year-old?
– Leap of Faith
Dear Leaper,
Really!? I’m still recovering from the concussion I just received. The stolidness of this question literally made me black out. OK, I’m back. Here is a simple solution to your juvenile argument. Ask your friend how many times he has rotated around the sun. If he still answers 10, grab a pen and jam it in your ear. This will help distract you from the pain of his response.
– Diver
Dear Diver,
What is with people who don’t have computers or cell phones? I know not everyone can afford a computer, but in this day and age, c’mon. Even homeless people have computers. They may think they’re proving a point, but what is that point?
– Pointless in Durango
Dear Pointless,
I’m old school. I don’t have a computer, and I’m sure as shit not getting an Android. Last thing I need is a robot in my pocket. I have a flock of highly trained carrier pigeons. That’s right, pigeons. I also have a runner. His name is Pheidippides. They work great for me. I have a back up if I’m out of pigeons and Pheidippides has collapsed from exhaustion. I call upon my scribe, so that he may document my message in perfect cursive. I then hail my personal post rider to deliver the message in due time. If all else fails, I will go to my friend’s house, shake his hand and talk with him in person.
– Diver
In a sticky situation? Got a dirty little secret? Seek help from the master of the kitchen. The diver has the solutions to life’s little messes. Send your problems to, “Ask the Diver:" - 1309 E. Third Ave., Room 25, Durango, CO, 81301 - fax (970) 259-0488 - or e-mail telegraph@durangotelegraph.com |
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