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| Love letters, Haute Toddies and squashing Roadrunners
by Chris Aaland
One grump last week cursed me out with expletives and racial slurs because I don’t like the Kansas City Chiefs. While I knew I shouldn’t respond, exercising emotional control and common sense aren’t exactly strengths of mine. Contrasting that correspondence was an email I received Jan. 9 from someone who had stumbled across a column I wrote last May about the Meat Puppets. The story started with Shelly and me stumbling around Lonetree Cemetery in Telluride looking for a relative. It seemed the reader shared more than a love of the Meat Puppets with me. He’s a closet genealogist who is apparently a distant relative of one August Telk, my great-great uncle who died in the 1940s and forever rests in Lonetree. My new buddy Brent and his family thought August was buried somewhere in California. Upon doing more research, he found two more Telks who are buried in Lonetree. I guess I need to take another stroll through the cemetery next summer. And if Brent and I are each related to August (and his brother Charles “Chook” Telk, my stubborn great grandfather), then we’re obviously related. Chalk this latter email up in the warm and fuzzy category. If I’m to get hate mail this week, likely it will stem from talking about the booty. Durango seems devoid of skin, or at least in the eyes of its hard-working menfolk. Let’s face it: Foxtails ain’t exactly Vegas. So when the Abbey brings a real live peep show to town Saturday night with the Haute Toddies, it’s as close as you’ll get to a bona-fide strip club in Southwest Colorado. These girls are classy, though. As they’re website states, “any doll can strip, but a few can tease.” StrOker Ace, the leader of the pack who, yes, does spell her stage name with a big “O,” is obsessed with burlesque, an art form that defied social restrictions and allowed women the freedom of expression. Think Mae West, Betty Page and Tempest Storm, innovators of the Silver Screen. Doors to this 21-and-over affair open at 8 p.m. The Abbey’s Friday night twin bill of Eufórquestra and Dubskin promises an evening of danceable reggae, dub, funk and jam. Both acts currently call Fort Collins home, but their music is certainly more worldly. The former originally hails from Iowa City, Iowa, and weaves a fusion they call “Afro-Caribbean-barnyard-funk.” They’re so confident that you’ll enjoy their music that their third album, “Soup,” is available for free download at www.euforquestra.com. They’ve played festivals near and far, including Wakarusa, NedFest, and the local Four Corners Folk Festival. The six-piece Dubskin followed suit, offering its second record, “No End in Time,” free at www.dubskinmusic.com. They’ve shared the stage with true reggae heavyweights, acts like Burning Spear and the Itals. Doors to this all-ages show open at 9 p.m. Fingers of the Sun play the Summit at 10 p.m. Saturday. This Denver-area sextet has a retro sound, playing ‘60s-influenced psychedelic, garage and pop. They’ll release their self-titled debut next month. Opening act the Crags is the country side project of Jaki & the Joysticks. Other Summit events include Thirsty Thursday with DJ Bram; Eric Kiefer’s acoustic happy hour from 6-9 p.m. Friday; Telluride’s Joint Point at 10 p.m. Friday; another acoustic happy hour with Rupnow & friends from 6-9 p.m. Saturday; an open mic jam at 8 p.m. Tuesday and DJ Double D’s Karaoke/Gong Show at 9 p.m. Wednesday. This week’s Starlight schedule includes Salsa Night with DJ Caliente and free salsa dance lessons at 8 p.m. tonight (Thurs., Jan. 20); DJ Double D at 10 p.m. Friday; a Pajama Jammy Jam with DJ Treazon and Audio Lush at 9 p.m. Saturday (wear your PJs and enjoy $1 wells and PBRs); Musica del Mundo at 9 p.m. Sunday; Karaoke Night with a chance to win a trip to Hollywood at 8 p.m. Monday; and live music with Old North State at 9 p.m. Tuesday. Elsewhere: Suave brings Latin fusion to this week’s Ska-B-Q tonight, while Black Velvet graces the St. Clair Winery & Bistro in Farmington at 6 p.m. tonight. On the sports front, the biggest local night of college hoops in years pits Metro State against Fort Lewis on Friday night. The visiting Roadrunners currently lead the Rocky Mountain Athletic Conference men’s and women’s standings, just one game ahead of the second place Skyhawks. The FLC women carry a 39-game home winning streak into the contest, and both ladies’ teams are ranked in the national Top 25. The men’s game pits two foes who have dominated the conference standings the past decade. These are also schools that have a bitter rivalry in nearly all sports. Something tells me the welcome mat won’t be rolled out for the Roadrunners. This can’t-miss action starts with the women’s game at 5:30 p.m. Friday in Whalen Gym, with the men to follow around 7:30. If you get shut out for Follies tickets, the Abbey simulcasts the local laugh-in during Snowdown. Follies simulcast tickets go on sale at the Abbey starting at 1 p.m. Saturday. There are still slots available for local musicians to unite to play AC/DC Cover Night, the latest in KDUR’s long-running, musical tribute series at 8 p.m. on Sat., Feb. 12, at the Summit. So work on those power chords and screaming vocals and call Bryant Liggett at 247-7261 or send an e-mail to kdur@fortlewis.edu. Just don’t plan on playing “You Shook Me All Night Long” … the Nord already plucked that one for the Lawn Chair Kings. This week’s Top Shelf list recalls my favorite Bon Scott-era AC/DC songs: “Whole Lotta Rosie,” 1977. “Highway to Hell,” 1979. “T.N.T.,” 1976. “Problem Child,” 1977. “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap,” 1976. “It’s a Long Way to the Top (If You Wanna Rock ‘n’ Roll),” 1976. “Let There Be Rock,” 1977. “Big Balls,” 1976. “Night Prowler,” 1979. “Sin City,” 1978. Weighing in at 19 stone? Email me at chrisa@gobrainstorm.net. •
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The Independent Weekly Line on Durango and Beyond
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Writing a weekly column for a lefty rag like The Telegraph has both perks and pitfalls. Oftentimes they’re one and the same. One of the biggest paradoxes is the feedback from readers. It’s like a box of chocolates, as Forrest Gump would say. You never know what you’ll get.