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| Dear Diver, I just returned from a road trip up north and have a very important question. Is the city north of us pronounced Mont-rose or Mon-trose. I’ve heard both varieties. Also, why is that strange, burgeoning burg named Montrose at all. – On the Road Again in Durango Dear Roadie: According to the town’s own website: “Joseph Selig suggested the name Montrose after a favorite character in Sir Walter Scott’s novel, The Legend of Montrose.” A quick Google search brings up the header “Earl of Montrose Thumps Clan Campbell” and that’s all I needed to hear. You are on your own as far as pronunciation is concerned. Get it right or get thumped by someone named Earl … Hey, it’s a 50/50 shot, right? Good luck! – Sincerely, the Diver Dear Diver, Would it be wrong to bring my 7-year-old to an “all-ages show” at the Abbey Theatre. Doors to the gig open at 8 p.m. (well before Junior’s weekend bedtime) and the band looks to be a wholesome bluegrass act. Whaddya say? Mom and Dad are desperate for a date night. – Jonathan, Durango Dear Desperate: You want a date night but you WANT to take a 7-year-old? Dude. This is a little on the creepy side. Although 7 year olds are a lot more like the 12 year olds of a couple decades ago, I’m pretty certain that 7-year-old doesn’t want to be on a date with Mom and Dad. Yuck. Would you? Get a sitter or find a friend to keep the kid overnight. Make a real date out of it, Durango style…you know, dinner, a couple of shots at the Ranch, music, Buzz Bus…Trust me, the wife will thank you, the kid will thank you, and the Abbey will most likely buy you a drink. Tell ’em I said so. Have fun with that! – Sincerely, Not Your Babysitter Diver Dear Diver, I’ve seen a whole lot of all-black strolling Main lately. Is the Emo-look the new metrosexual? What’s the next trend in line for our fashion-cursed community? – Faux Fashionista, via e-mail Dear Foo Foo Fashion: I can never remember. Is black the combination of all colors or the absence thereof? Anyway…I digress. Seems like there might be a couple of things going on here. First, and foremost, did you see any Crocs involved? If not, then there is hope. I believe the all black is an outward symbol of mourning for the fash ion fiasco that is Durango. Maybe it’s some sort of visual cleansing tool, like a big flush of all that is offensive and toxic to the eyes. Is this a time of fashion reassessment, maybe? What worries me is the second part: What if this is just a grace period before the next visual onslaught? Look out for the return of plaid Bermuda shorts with tie-dye tank tops and pink belly bags. Note, please, that I didn’tsay fanny packs. Belly bags, like the part of a beer gut that the tank top never seems to cover… MY EYES!! MY EYES!!– Sincerely, The-Don’t-Want-to-See-That Diver
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