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| Dear Diver, What do the initials A.I.G. really stand for and how are these crooks managing to fleece taxpayers of all of their money? – Fed up in Hermosa Dear Fed Up Homie, A.I.G., when reconnected to it’s vestigal “Y” actually stands for “Your Ass Is Gullible.” In dropping the “Y,” which was first allowed in the financial de-regulations of the early Bush years, Y.A.I.G. was able to lay the groundwork for fleecing of the taxpayers today. It is actually in the tax code that you, the taxpayer, have to take that kind of crap from the excruciatingly rich. It is also interesting to note that you use the word “fleecing” which indicates you feel like the proverbial nervous sheep in a rural area like Hermosa. Be wary of tax collectors and investment bankers wearing wellies. – Not wanting an A.I.G Bone-Us, Diver Dear Diver, What gives with small town Durangoans nickel and diming their neighbors? In our place of business, customers are routinely trying to scam a few dollars off their tab by making ridiculous claims about product and service. What happened to the old adage “what goes around comes around?” What’s a suitable way for handling said customer? – Dale and Charlie in Durango D&C, See answer above … Those people really aren’t your neighbors. They are A.I.G. go-to men who are currently in exile. You have the misfortune to be living in the same town where they are keeping their skills honed, awaiting the day when Rush Limbaugh raises the Fourth Reich. The most suitable way to handle said customers is to keep two price lists, one for the worthy and a suitably adjusted one for the “locals.” Give the “local” a 20 percent discount and stick the difference in your Sealy Posture-pedic. – Where’s my discount? Diver Dear Diver, Why do bands keep canceling shows in Durango? First it was Dickey Betts then Robert Earl Keen and now Cherryholmes and even the Ekaterinburg Classical Trio. Is there something wrong with the fanbase? Why are we inadvertently driving musicians from our borders? – Group E. Dear Groupee, The fundamental problem is that the average age for the fanbase of these performers is steadily climbing. Most of us old farts can’t stay out past 9 p.m. without taking out a second mortgage to pay for sitters for the kids, dinner for the spouse, tickets for the show, and the Buzz Bus. Most of the fanbase will sit on buying a ticket long enough that close to the show the band’s manager sees that there will be almost no return on the effort to play in Durango, so they pull the plug. My suggestion is to give up on the out-of-town big name talent and support local music. It’ll be cheaper and probably more genuine. – Waiting for my next local talent fix, Diver |
