Musically inclined

“Tell the truth, Dad,” little blue eyes asked. “Just what do you have against Troy anyway?”

There it was. The long wait was over. As expected, my 7-year-old daughter was suddenly asking 17-year-old questions. Hearing about one of Skyler’s first crushes hit me like a Disneyworld monorail.

“Troy’s strong, popular and fashionable,” she continued smugly. “It’s time for you to stop making fun of him … It’s also time for you to get your hair styled and get with the times.”

Yep, it was love at first screening for Skyler. Unbeknownst to me or mom, the prodigal Sands snuck off one day and joined the legions of aspiring middle schoolers, bratz, preteens, mall rats and sorority sisters. Somewhere in the last couple years, she’d fallen head over heels for Troy Bolton. Unfortunately, poor Skyler will never get closer to Troy than the director’s cut.

As anyone living outside a brown bag knows, “High School Musical” has been evolving into a peculiar pop culture phenomenon. The flavorists at Disney schmaltzed up the set and queued up some Shakespeare-lite for the three-part film series. Part one focused on starcrossed lovers Troy (tenderly played by actor Zac Efron) and Gabriella (acted by the virginal Vanessa Hudgens) as they struggled to overcome seemingly insurmountable differences – she’s a brain; he’s a jock. Thanks to a little help from a karaoke-infused ski vacation, Troy learned to sing and discovered his inner George Michael. Hand holding and near kisses ensued, and Gabriella had her own revelation – basketball team captains don’t have to be dicks. After toasting a little Red Bull and sharing a powerful duet, the pair fell madly into young love.

High school love came at a bigger price than Troy’s letter jacket, however. Troy’s closet singing career and starring role in the upcoming “musicale” had to win hard-earned approval from dear old dad – a hardass who also happens to be his basketball coach. Troy and Gabriella were also forced to outwit the diabolical Sharpay Evans – the new millennium’s material girl who wants Troy and center stage all to herself. In addition, the pair (and the entire G-rated series) had to overcome a sequence of career-ending, nude internet photos of Vanessa. Kids these days.

In the end, the good guys won, the Wildcats took the city tourney, Sharpay came over to the light side of the force, Disney bought up all the pieces of Hudgens’ internet shame and Troy’s dad finally accepted him, vocal chords and all.

As an addendum, I should note that “High School Musical” was set entirely within the city limits of that charming burg known as Albuquerque. Curiously, none of the scenes resembled the Duke City I’ve come to know and tolerate. Back lot, anyone? Credit to the director

OK, OK now that I’m out of that closet, I’d like to explain.

I first caught glimpses of “High School Musical” a few years ago with my then 4-year-old daughter. Let’s just say I was a little surprised (and kinda’ uncomfortable) sharing the experience with a girl who so easily traded Dora the Explorer for Efron the Late Night Explorer. A Troy T-shirt with matching bedroom slippers showed up a couple months later.

I was more than surprised to find myself curled up on the couch (and kinda enjoying) “High School Musical III – Senior Year” last weekend. Following in Coach Bolton’s footsteps, I donned the mantle of supportive father and observed, chuckled in the right places and even sighed on cue. And though it took every bit of inner Mahatma I had, not once did I poke fun, ridicule, rib, humiliate, tease, shame, degrade or slander Mr. Efron.

I do have a bone to pick, but I’ll have to take that up with Zac personally.

You see, with one fell solo performance, his character laid waste to my best efforts to raise a mountain-biking, skate-skiing, river rat tomboy. It’s been all lipstick and sparkle makeup since Troy came on the scene, and Skyler’s Carhartt’s and bike shorts have been withering away next to the laundry hamper for months. My little mountain chick has even started asking why Durango doesn’t have a real mall.

Forget singletrack, she said, Troy has landed and is here to stay. Barbie’s come and gone, Littlest Pet Shop has shuttered its windows, but “High School Musical” appears to have attained forever status in the Sands casa. I regret to report that the Sands family may even be taking our little Preschool Musical out on the open road.

A few days before we shared our viewing of “III,” I asked Skyler where she’d like to go on a coming vacation. “Let’s see,” she answered after pondering deeply. “Another trip to the beach could be nice ... or maybe Albuquerque. Actually, I definitely want to go to Albuquerque ... maybe near where Troy and Gabriella live.”

Thanks to the economic downturn and the Wildcats winning the cup, the Duke City might just be in our immediate future. Plus, I’ve raised my hands to the gods of Disney and asked WWCBD? (What would Coach Bolton do?)

I’m still waiting on the answer, but suspect Coach would dig deep, load up the family truckster, give the fam an inspiring pep talk and point it for Wildcat country. And who knows? He might just pack the mountain bikes and climbing shoes, toss in the tent and a big cooler full of cold cans and take the liberty of leaving the charge cards and road map at home. You see, there are two strong themes in “High School Musical” – follow your dreams and no one is infallible. Even high school basketball coaches have been known to take a wrong turn on a road trip in pursuit of a higher calling.

– Will Sands