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Diver, What’s the deal with the current mustache infestation in Durango? Little hairy lip worms seem to be popping up all over the place. Is it a sign of the season or is the Magnum P.I. era back for good? – Still clean Dear Clean, What do you mean “popping up?” Mustaches have always been a method of identifying the era one grew up in. Since the ’60s (that golden age) when men started emulating Frank Zappa instead of John Wayne, stashes have said “this is who I am.” You can tell who the owner is likely to vote for by how big a lip bumper he sports. Also facial hair is removable art, unlike the other infestation that seems to be “popping up” all over Durango, i.e. T.M.I. (too much ink) syndrome. Remember, mustaches are easily removed but you will still have that tribal tattoo on your face when you’re using your senior discount on the trolley. – Diver Diver, So what’s up with Iron Man (and what’s up with that name?) or any man, thinking that all women in Durango flocked to see the “Sex and the City” movie?? (Durango Telegraph, June 5) I didn’t go. I’ve never seen a single episode. Frankly, even the title sounds silly. And the most I’ve ever paid for shoes was $169 for a pair of tall Sorels, though I do own several pairs of really hot platform heels. I rarely watch TV and resent the implication that I secretly want anything those women have. Besides, the city’s got nothing on sex in rural America, especially at the higher elevations. – Happy in a Small Town P.S. Is “Big” his last name, or is this a reference to something else? In such case, I might be interested... Dear Small Town Happy I don’t know any women who went to see the flick. These women seem as wrapped tight as their clothes. True sexiness to me is a mountain woman in tight jeans and Sorels. Having one of you slide off a barstool, after skiing, and walk up to the man of your choice with “that look” in your eye is the height of seduction. I’d trade that for 15 Big City Barbies who don’t want their hair messed up, any day. As for “Mr. Big” I think the reference is to the size of car he drives. It’s the inverse-proportion rule. Big car, small ...? – Diver Dear Diver, Why do tourists walk approximately 25 percent slower than locals along Main Avenue? What’s the best way to avoid the inevitable humanoid traffic jam? – Del in Durango Del, Ever heard of slalom? Remember, you don’t ski the trees, you ski the spaces between the trees. – Diver |
