Sucking, another ride on the horse and Wally World

by Ted Holteen

For a town that prides itself on quality of life, it seems that more and more I hear Durango locals whining about the need to “get out of town” and go someplace else. I must count myself among them, as even I look forward to the occasional jaunt to far-off exotic destinations like Vegas and Denver. I’m claustrophobic, always a good fall-back excuse, and I imagine variations of the affliction play into the wanderlust that has become so prevalent recently. But if ever there was a weekend to just stay put, it’s this one, if for one night only. And I ain’t talkin’ ‘bout the Veterans’ Day parade. (Not that I have anything against veterans, but I just wasn’t talking about that.)

Anyone who attended the October 2004 Supersuckers show at the Abbey will tell you that it was among the finest that ever happened in this land that music otherwise forgot. On Friday night, Armistice Day no less, Eddie Spaghetti and his crew make their second visit to Durango, and those not there will be, as they say, square. You don’t want to be square, and you don’t want to miss this spectacle of country-punk-rock ’n roll. A bit of math for you: as of this writing, there were still some tickets. Only about 300 people will get to see the show, leaving some 89,000 or so on the outside looking in, which is really hard at the Abbey what with no windows and such. So get yours quickly, especially since all the people with any sense are reading this at the same time you are and are already on their way to get theirs. The opening act is something called Danko Jones, and suffice to say that if you miss their set you will have really missed something. Fortunately, they’re loud enough that most residents of La Plata and Montezuma counties should have no trouble hearing everything just fine. They’ll take the stage around 9:30 p.m., with the Supersuckers to follow whenever. Have fun – I have to go out of town.

Now I know some of you are saying to yourself, “But Ted, I’ve never heard the Supersuckers. How do I know they’re everything you say?” For the answer to that question, we return once more to the radio station that plays the songs that make you say, “What the hell is this burned out/rasta/punk/goth/weirdo/hippie playing?” at least four times a day: KDUR. KDUR is the only station in town where you can hear the Suckers, and I trust that someone like, oh, I don’t know, Liggett, is making sure they are in high rotation this week. Many of you may have noticed that KDUR often acts with an ulterior motive that involves them somehow getting money, but on Saturday night they finally give something back to the community from which they’ve taken so much. A few weeks back, the station had one of those on-air fund-raiser things that makes Liggett’s six-figure salary possible and keeps him clad in Armani while he drives up the hill every day in his Hummer splashing mud on hitchhiking students. On Saturday night, anyone who was generous enough to have donated during that time is invited to the Wild Horse Saloon for a thank-you party with Wayward Sons and Rock & Rye. It’s a bluegrass kind of night, and with the bluegrass community intermingling bands the way their Appalachian forefathers intermingled with their sisters and daughters, a whole bunch of regional bands will be represented, and with little to no mental retardation. The two groups include remnants of Stoney Creek Ramblers, The Brown Brothers, The Badly Bent and the Broke Mountain Bluegrass Band. While that may not bode well for the future of the current bands, it should make for a great short-term solution. And for you deadbeats who didn’t make a donation, you can still get in the door for just five bucks. The party starts at 9 p.m.

For what it’s worth, I don’t shop at Wal-Mart. Originally, my reasons were lofty. Wal-Mart is an unscrupulous employer, they destroy local businesses, and those blue vests are hideous. With all of the hypocrisy in my life – I support big tobacco by smoking, I wear sweatshop clothing, I put gasoline in my car, I drown puppies – I can no longer cling to those principles, yet I still refuse to shop there. Why? I’m forced to finally admit it’s because I’m an elitist, and I just can’t stand to be surrounded by the peasants and other untouchables that make up that caste of consumers. Plus, I’m sure I’d hate Arkansas if I ever went there. So Wal-Mart makes my list of irrationally perceived enemies, but lo – just when I’m at my lowest, there’s a movie to make everything OK again, and I’m pretty sure you can’t buy the DVD at Wal-Mart. On Wednesday night, Nov. 16, the Abbey Theatre will show once only, “Wal-Mart: The High Cost of Low Prices,” at 7 p.m. This documentary cohesively explains what all the Wal-Mart haters are rarely eloquent enough to relate in conversation, even though we know what we’re thinking and screw you anyway. All the child labor, predatory business practices, sexual discrimination and racist doctrine will be explained in this easy-to-follow film. It’ll have you just begging for a Target on your way out. Oh, and by the way, all proceeds from the screening benefit KDUR.

If you unintentionally missed last week’s opening of the FLC Theatre presentation of “Angels in America – Part I: Millennium Approaches,” this is your last chance to catch it. The play runs Friday and Saturday night at 7:30 p.m., with a Sunday matinee at 2 p.m. With a week under their belt, the cast should be flawless for these closing performances. How’s that for pressure, kids?

I need books. Gimme gimme gimme. egholteen@hotmail.com. Happy birthday, Pop. •