|
Dear Diver,
I haven't danced in a long, long time, and I'm feeling pretty bad about it.I used to have lots of fun, I miss it, and
I'm afraid I've forgotten how.Do you have any suggestions?
- Thanks, Anon
Dear Anon,
There's a saying, "dance like no one is watching" - this is my first suggestion to you. Although if you really have
forgotten how to dance, you can be sure all eyes will be on you when you finally get out on the dance floor. My
second suggestion is to practice at home, put on some music that really moves you, maybe Wham or Heart. Last but not
least, try something new, this way no one will know what the hell you're doing, making it hard for anyone to
criticize. I've heard interpretive dance is the next big trend! Have fun and remember, they're laughing with you not
at you.
- Thanks, Diver
Diver,
Why is it so freaking hard for people to fill up god-damned ice trays? They can take the ice out but can't put water
back in! I timed myself, it took me an extra 20 seconds to fill up the ice tray. People are lazy.
- Jack
Dear Jack,
I'll tell you why it's so freaking hard for people to fill the god-damned ice trays. It's because most people have not had a lesson on how to properly use and refill an ice tray. If only more people had attended Montessori school as young children, they would have received practical life and grace and courtesy lessons which would have enabled them to become adults who respect the ice trays and others' need for ice. I suggest that you sit down with the other ice users in your home and give them a simple lesson on the proper use and care of ice trays. I think you may find that people aren't just lazy, they just have not received the proper training when it comes to refilling ice trays.
- Diver
|
|
Diver: Carrie from Children's House
Facts: Carrie dives at a Montessori, and as it turns out provides the most practical advice and knowledge this column
has not seen since the likes of Dan Groth.
|
|
Got a dirty little secret?
Looking for guidance to remedy a sticky situation?
Seek help from the master of the kitchen! The Dish Diver has solutions
to life's little messes. Send your problems to "Ask
the Diver." - By mail to Durango Telegraph - Attn
Diver -534 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301; by email at
telegraph@durangotelegraph.com,
or by fax at 259-0448. |
Diver,
I have a bit of advice for you and your readers. Tired of being held up when its time to go somewhere by a friend or
family member? Leave them. I have this buddy who would insist I be at his house to go skiing at 8 a.m. This went on
all season, and since he lived north of me by the resort, I would oblige and get him. However, I'd get there by 8,
and he was never ready. He'd then fart around for an hour while I waited. So, one day I just left him. He was late
and a slacker no more. This works great for kids and getting them to school, too. Leave them, and laugh as they chase
your car down the street, crying. It's good fun and teaches a lesson!
- Thanks, Mike
Dear Mike,
Thanks for your great bit of advice, I couldn't agree more. It's obvious why you did not feel the need to ask me a
question, as is standard procedure for the "Ask The Diver" column, you already have it all figured out. Well Mike,
thanks for your advice and feel free to spout off your unprofessional advice any time.
- Diver
|
