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Diver,
My wife won't lock the front door! She says, "We don't need to lock our doors, this is Durango." However, Durango or
not, this town is filled with sketchers. I'm not about to come home and have some meth-head from the cardboard motel
stealing my stuff. How can I convince her that just because this is a small town, things aren't that safe?
- Concerned Husband in Hesperus
Dear Concerned,
Now, now, let us not pin the blame on the cardboard motel connoisseurs. We personally feel that North Main is quite
charming. Why don't you just wait for one of those "sketchers" to walk into your house, and then you go ahead and
enjoy the "make my day" law? I'm sure one will show up in Hesperus any day now.
- Peeved,
The Divers
Dearest Diver,
What's the best cure for a hangover? I figure since you work in the restaurant or bar industry, you may know. Any
suggestions?
- Jack
Jack,
1. Wake up. 2. Vow to never drink again. 3. Pull tubes. 4. Go to the mountain. 5. Launch off chair lift. 6. Take one
run. 7. Drink Bloody Mary. 8. Continue vicious cycle.
-Perpetually recovering from the night before,
Divers
Diver,
I'm sick of my sick friends who are constantly hitting on my cousins. All they ask about is when my cousins are
coming to town, if they are "available" and things like that. This is worse than having a hot sister! How can I
convince them this is impolite and makes me, and probably my cousins, uncomfortable?
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Diver: John Kennedy and his sidekick Maggie from J. Bo's
Facts: They provide all you need to know about hot cousins, sketchy hotels and being fired.
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Got a dirty little secret?
Looking for guidance to remedy a sticky situation?
Seek help from the master of the kitchen! The Dish Diver has solutions
to life's little messes. Send your problems to "Ask
the Diver." - By mail to Durango Telegraph - Attn
Diver -534 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301; by email at
telegraph@durangotelegraph.com,
or by fax at 259-0448. |
- Mac
Dear Mac,
It seems fairly apparent you are battling some jealousy issues. You have the inside track, beat them to the punch and
ask one of them (or all of them) out. Don't forget to send pictures of the kids.
- Down here in Kentucky,
Divers
Dearest Diver,
What is the easiest way to fire someone? I have some people at my work who need to go, but getting rid of them is not
as easy as it should be. Any hints? I've been losing sleep over the fact that I have to fire a slacker who has two
kids!
- Worried
Dear Worried
From our previous experiences being fired, we have figured out the "how to." All you need to do is catch your
employees smoking pot in the store room - then you have an easy way to terminate them on the spot. Some people
justify this, I think.
- Something about being stoned,
Divers
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