Dear Diver,

I did it. I had sex with that woman I work with, at the Christmas party! It was awesome. She rules I think we may become an item. She admitted to me about how she seemed, well, a little loose and she wants to settle down. My question to you, is, should I believe her?

- Satisfied

Dear Satisfied,

It's hard to say. These days instant gratification is the name of the game, especially here in the U.S. of A. Whether it's mac and cheese or loose-Lucy party favors (catch my drift), the results are the same: cheap and empty calories. Go ahead and keep the faith, but don't put all your eggs in one basket. In the meantime, believe in someone you can always invest in, namely, yourself.

- Eat, drink and be merry,



I know a bunch of kids who are simply addicted to TV. All they do is watch TV, all the time. No playing, fort building, nothing. I even know a family who doesn't have cable or anything, just loads of videos. The kids in this family will watch the same videos over and over. This must hurt imagination. Not to use the "when I was a kid line," but when I was a kid we didn't have any of that. We had friends. We played outside, explored and had fun without TV. Jesus, now you can't even take a kid on a road trip without brining a portable DVD player. Ridiculous. This can't be good. Your thoughts?

- Micky


As mentioned before, instant gratification is rampant, and quite frankly, the downfall of this species (and then some). No, it's not good for the imagination. What it's good for is the brainwashing that makes us all great consumers of this dumb-downed version of life. Save yourself while you can. Enter into a state of consciousness that reminds you of the infinite life-force you come from. Follow this practice if you wish to find a bliss that is eternal vs. what is temporary and stagnant.

- In spirit,



My wife invited her very obnoxious lush of a cousin to our house for Christmas dinner. In addition to being drunk, obnoxious and loud, she is constantly complaining. Of course, my wife feels obligated to family, but I know after her cousin is here for five minutes, she'll complain about something, piss my wife off and the day will be ruined. How do you politely uninvite someone without making up some crazy lie?

Diver: Stacy Evans, Hamilton Chop House

Facts: Staying warm this season baking at the Hamilton Chop House (and dishing a few bread pans, technically then, a diver.)


Got a dirty little secret?
Looking for guidance to remedy a sticky situation?

Seek help from the master of the kitchen! The Dish Diver has solutions to life's little messes. Send your problems to "Ask the Diver." - By mail to Durango Telegraph - Attn Diver -534 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301; by email at, or by fax at 259-0448.

- Jeff


If you feel inclined to uninvite this woman, do it in the most honest way possible. There is no need to lie when it comes to getting a point across. Tell her that you would love to have a peaceful dinner and if she would like to join in a peaceful manner, then she is welcome. Make peace a prerequisite.

- Good luck,



I think I need to send my son to rehab. He's been getting drunk lately, and I think he is smoking pot. I don't want to over-react, I know kids experiment, I just don't want this to lead to anything harder. He's only 16! Any suggestions of re-hab in our own home?

- Mom ... worried

Dear Worried Mom,

First, accept your son's predicament. This is common and natural, be happy about how normal he is. Traditional rehab can be a very conditional and threatening experience. I suggest an alternative. Take him to a traditional Native American sweat instead. Have him sweat it all out. Repeat as many times as necessary. Then, make him get a job. He needs to be financially responsible for his habits, while finding some new ones to boot.

- Best wishes,




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