Dear Diver,

Is it really OK to kill animals, much less eat them? I'm no theologian, nor do I have high moral standards, but at the surface every living thing on this planet (at least the ones capable of moving around) has a heart that beats and a mother. Why is my life, the one given to me by whatever force is out there, more important than that of an elk, who also has every right to be here?

- Wondering,



Nature has a strange way of operating, Jim. In the wild, some mothers kill their young; some have mothers who used to be male, like clownfish. (Don't ever order clownfish in a restaurant, it tastes funny.) Regardless of your "morals" in the end, you are the only one who can find your rightful place in the food-chain.

- See you at the top,



Why the hell are music or television blamed for the moronic and idiotic acts of people? I'm thinking the whole Judas Priest teen suicide thing, kids imitating Beavis and Butthead, or the morons that laid down in the highway like in that movie from years ago. There is NO ROOM FOR sympathy, as far as I'm concerned, when people act stupid. Why should people's stupidity be blamed on media?

- Lori via e-mail from Chicago

Dearest Lori,

On the one hand, we agree. America's biased mainstream media greatly influences the stupidity of some people, judging by the unfortunate outcome of the presidential election. However, we believe video games could be an excellent training exercise to improve the hand-eye coordination needed to fill in the correct ovals on the ballot in 2008. And by the way, you really shouldn't knock the highway stunt. The feeling of those rushing tires past your head from between the double yellows is absolutely unbeatable!

- Living on the edge,

The Sisters


Do Native Americans celebrate Thanksgiving? If they do, why? I don't think the pilgrims and the hordes of white people that came after the original "pilgrims" did them any favors. It's basically a holiday that celebrates everything white people have ever embraced in America. Over-eating and laziness.

- Heather

Diver: The Flying Burrito Sisters from Nini's

Facts: Damn, these ladies are smart, clever and cruel.


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Do you really believe that our nation's day of thanks is responsible for over-eating and laziness? How silly…the one day of the year we break bread and eat moist turkey, sweet tangy cranberry sauce, grandma's pumpkin pie, cheesy green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, and stuffing (who can forget stuffing!?) with our families? Oh yeah, hot-from-the-oven buttered rolls. We realize we celebrate Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanza, Passover, Ramadan, Easter and New Years with our families, and that all these "holidays" might be out-dated, religious based, and/or a way for us to be distracted from our pathetic lives, but only Thanksgiving gives us a reason above all others to celebrate those warm buttered rolls. Oooh, that slight dusting of flower on top!

Yum Yum…hungrily yours,

- Divers

Dear Diver,

I think Shakespeare sucks.

- Thanks, Sheldon

via e-mail


Can the devil speak true? Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player, that struts and frets his hour upon the stage, and then is heard no more; it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

- Courtesy of Billy S,

via e-mail



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