My parents are planning
our holiday vacation at Club Med in California. I just want to go
to the beach. Club Med sucks! I hate golf, I wanna play lacrosse!
Should I go with them, or go to Newport Beach by myself?
I feel your pain.
Sometimes it is amazing what our families expect of us, isn't it?
Don't get me wrong, I understand that our culture places a lot of
emphasis on things like selflessness, family time, and charity,
especially during the holidays. This may not be all bad either, but
sometimes the degree of self sacrifice expected of us from family
members can be truly unreal. Club Med?!! What a grotesque
obligation! Could it be your family is punishing you for something?
I would go if I were you, but I would be VERY vocal about the
Morons riding long
skateboards are a freaking hazard! They fly around, jumping off to
grab their skateboard, but not before they come close to hurting
someone. Most people have no business riding these things! How can
I send a message that when I get hit by a flying skateboard an ass
kicking will follow?
Although at first your question irritated and disgusted me,
I have to admit you may have a good point. I enjoy long boarding,
but one should realize one’s limits and not flail on hills
populated with pedestrians. This sport, like many others,
is driven by machismo coupled with a fear of looking like
a wussy. Exploit this. Let offending rookie long boarders
know that any hill smaller than North College is a pathetic
waste of time.
P.S. I have never, nor do I intend to, ridden North College.
That’s friggin’ nuts.
I have this suspicion my girl is cheating. So I’m going
to say I have to go out of town and hide under the bed. When
she comes and shoes fall off, lookout. Pretty cool huh?
Damn right it’s cool. Nothing says “healthy relationship” like
spiteful vengeance. The whole scenario reminds me of a relationship
I was involved in with a downstairs neighbor. On the chosen night,
I waited patiently upstairs, listening for my moment. Just like
a scene out of a Dostoevsky novel, my timing was flawless. When
I knew they were in her room, I ran downstairs and flung the
door open. I will never forget the look of surprise on their
faces as I barged in, face streaming tears and runny snot. It
will be forever etched in my memory.
– Good luck buddy,
Diver: Carl from Homeslice.
Facts: It's been a year since we last heard
from Superdiver Carl, who is an expert at extreme sports and
Got a dirty little secret?
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or by fax at 259-0448.
My wife and I are planning
a wedding and it's insane! Is it true that wedding planning is the
catalyst for couples to have problems?
No way, Mike. There is
absolutely no correlation there. Unless the wedding being planned
is your own, in which case yes, it most certainly will have
negative impacts on the relationship. I recently read very
compelling evidence that suggested the one thing all divorced
couples have in common is the fact that they were all married at
one point or another. Scary statistics, huh? The whole scenario
reminds me of something Bob Dylan said, "those not busy being born
are busy dying." I'm not sure why I'm reminded of this, but
congratulations on your upcoming union all the same.