Dear Diver of infallible wisdom, I was pondering this the other day: pride, envy, greed, sloth, lust, gluttony, wrath, – the seven deadly sins (of Christian fame) – and thought it strange that all these qualities so accurately depict typical Americana and realized how appropriate they look painted over the seven red stripes of an American flag. Bewildered at the obviousness of the truth, I came to wonder, are Bush supporters all really demons from the seventh circle of hell, here to infiltrate our society and confuse the ignorant into thinking that this “culture” of world domination is something we should actually take pride in, like some sick destructive thrill killers bent on destroying everything good in the world...or are they all just merely stupid?

-Not Asleep,


Not asleep,

You're a nut case, ya know that? You really are. Now, I'm no fan of the current administration, but “demons from the seventh circle of hell?” Give me a break. My advice: Sleep is fundamental to the healthy functioning of a rational mind. I urge you to get some.

– Diver

I see people on the corner of 11th and Main every Friday holding up signs bashing Mr. Bush. This to me is a waste of time, for nothing has changed. What the hell does holding up a sign do except make you look like a jerk with a sign? You want action, you make action. The only way to stop a bully is to fight back, not hold up a sign that says “the bully took my lunch money.” These over-optimistic ex-hippies are wasting their time. You want change? Take on action! Am I right?

– Jim,



No. Putting your philosophy in print via this “newspaper” does not qualify as “making action” or “take(ing) action” so why'd you do it? Nothing's changed has it? Nope. You're obviously real close to driving your big-wheeled pick-up onto the sidewalk at a local intersection, oh say the corner of 11th and Main, in the near future. Jim, you're an overly pessimistic ex-ROTC who has wasted my time.

– Diver


What is the best way to fire somebody? I have an employee who I like well enough on a personal level, but he's a crappy worker and just isn't performing. I've given him a million chances.

– Thanks,

NS in Durango


Is this a trick question? I plead the fifth.

– Diver


Diver: Denny Rahilly from the Tee Pee!

Facts: Denny goes both ways – he can be conservative and liberal.


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Dear Diver,

I see so many “United We Stand” stickers around. Do they mean “united we stand in being opposed?” As far as I canA0recall, our culture hasn't been this diametrically opposed in my 31 years. Are these people on the payroll for the media snowjobbers, bent on trying to present the false image that we all agree with the government, even though nothing could be further from the truth? Yes, as a nation our wake up call is likely to be VERY harsh, but wouldn't you think we'd rather get on with the truth and consequences rather than do even more damage by trying to rationalize the continuation of all this globalization, economically driven, capitalistic crap?

– Ready for truth in Durango

Dear truth,

I agree with you. A Kerry victory will only delay the inevitable, allow the system to grow beyond any manageability, soothe the anti-Bush crowd and divert our needed attention from the fact he's bones to Bush's skull. Sure Bush is harsh, Kerry slightly smoother ‘round the edges, but the main thrust is the same. Thus, as a nonpayrolled member of the media, allow me to “snowjob” you with this piece of advice: Vote Bush, for the children.

– Diver



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