|
Dear Diver of infallible wisdom, I was pondering this the other
day: pride, envy, greed, sloth, lust, gluttony, wrath, – the seven deadly
sins (of Christian fame) – and thought it strange that all these qualities
so accurately depict typical Americana and realized how appropriate
they look painted over the seven red stripes of an American
flag. Bewildered at the obviousness of the truth, I came to
wonder, are Bush supporters all really demons from the seventh circle of
hell, here to infiltrate our society and confuse the ignorant into thinking
that this “culture” of
world domination is something we should actually take pride
in, like some sick destructive thrill killers bent on destroying
everything good in the world...or are they all just merely stupid?
-Not Asleep,
Durango
Not asleep,
You're a nut case, ya know that? You really are. Now, I'm no fan of
the current administration, but “demons from the seventh circle of hell?” Give
me a break. My advice: Sleep is fundamental to the healthy functioning
of a rational mind. I urge you to get some.
– Diver
I see people on the corner of 11th and
Main every Friday holding up signs bashing Mr. Bush. This to me is
a waste of time, for nothing has changed. What the hell does holding
up a sign do except make you look like a jerk with a sign? You want
action, you make action. The only way to stop a bully is to fight
back, not hold up a sign that says “the bully took my lunch money.” These
over-optimistic ex-hippies are wasting their time. You want change?
Take on action! Am I right?
– Jim,
Durango
Jim,
No. Putting your philosophy in print via this “newspaper” does not
qualify as “making action” or “take(ing) action” so why'd you do it?
Nothing's changed has it? Nope. You're obviously real close to driving
your big-wheeled pick-up onto the sidewalk at a local intersection,
oh say the corner of 11th and Main, in the near future. Jim, you're
an overly pessimistic ex-ROTC who has wasted my time.
– Diver
Diver,
What is the best way to fire somebody? I have an employee who I like
well enough on a personal level, but he's a crappy worker and just isn't
performing. I've given him a million chances.
– Thanks,
NS in Durango
NS,
Is this a trick question? I plead the fifth.
– Diver |
|
Diver: Denny Rahilly from the Tee Pee!
Facts: Denny goes both ways – he can be conservative
and liberal. 
|
|
Got a dirty little secret?
Looking for guidance to remedy a sticky situation?
Seek help from the master of the kitchen! The Dish Diver has solutions
to life's little messes. Send your problems to "Ask
the Diver." - By mail to Durango Telegraph - Attn
Diver -534 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301; by email at
telegraph@durangotelegraph.com,
or by fax at 259-0448. |
Dear Diver,
I see so many “United We Stand” stickers around. Do they
mean “united we stand in being opposed?” As far as I canA0recall,
our culture hasn't been this diametrically opposed in my
31 years. Are these people on the payroll for the media snowjobbers,
bent on trying to present the false image that we all agree
with the government, even though nothing could be further
from the truth? Yes, as a nation our wake up call is likely
to be VERY harsh, but wouldn't you think we'd rather get
on with the truth and consequences rather than do even more
damage by trying to rationalize the continuation of all this
globalization, economically driven, capitalistic crap?
– Ready for truth in Durango
Dear truth,
I agree with you. A Kerry victory will only delay the inevitable,
allow the system to grow beyond any manageability, soothe
the anti-Bush crowd and divert our needed attention from
the fact he's bones to Bush's skull. Sure Bush is harsh,
Kerry slightly smoother ‘round the edges, but the main thrust
is the same. Thus, as a nonpayrolled member of the media,
allow me to “snowjob” you with this piece of advice: Vote
Bush, for the children.
– Diver |
