Diver,

I want to move to New York City for college, but my Dad is way against it. He wants me to stay here and go to the Fort, but I want out. However, if I go against his wishes, I'll be paying for college on my own. I'm a good student, get good grades, and want to go away to school if it kills me. How can I make him change his mind on what is best for me?

Senior at DHS

Dear Senior,

Does your father want you only to go to FLC, or does he not want you to go to NYC? It sounds like he is being selfish and pretty lame, too. You must go where your heart tells you to go. Sit down and talk to him about any compromises that you can make. If that fails, see about student loans, financial aid and grants. If worse comes to worse, you can do what I did to pay for college: sell your body on Camino Del Rio. Whatever you do, do it for yourself, not anyone else.

Diver


Dear Diver,

Where is the best place to meet girls in this town? I've been here for two years, and it's hard. I see a lot of girls in the bar, but I'm not into dating a bar girl, if you know what I mean. Any suggestions?

Lonely guy

Dear Lonely guy,

First, get a puppy. Take it on the bike path, parks, hikes, whatever. Remember initiating the conversation is half the battle. If all else fails, remember that not all the girls that go downtown are bar flies.

Good luck, Diver

P.S. If you are currently enrolled at the college, you deserve to be slapped.


Diver,

What is the best way to fire somebody? I have an employee who I like well enough on a personal level, but he's a crappy worker and just isn't performing. I've given him a million chances.

Thanks,

NS in Durango

NS,

Is this a trick question? I plead the fifth.

Diver

 

Diver: Foz from Lady Falconburgh's

Facts: Foz went to a college to learn the most about romance and culture


 

Got a dirty little secret?
Looking for guidance to remedy a sticky situation?

Seek help from the master of the kitchen! The Dish Diver has solutions to life's little messes. Send your problems to "Ask the Diver." - By mail to Durango Telegraph - Attn Diver -534 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301; by email at telegraph@durangotelegraph.com, or by fax at 259-0448.

Dear Diver,

Hip hop music is invading my house! My son suddenly started talking in some crazy urban dialect like he's from the projects in Brooklyn. He's from Bayfield, and I don't think he's ever even talked to an African American! Now he keeps talking about whitey holding his people back. It's actually so ridiculous it's funny...I want him to express himself, but he has nothing in common with the people writing the music he listens to.

Darren

Dear Darren,

There are several approaches you can take. First is let him go with it. He might outgrow the phase and become just what you pictured years ago. Second, you could purchase many historical hip hop classics like old school Public Enemy, KRS-ONE, Dr. Dre, Wu-Tang Clan. Then move forward into more modern masterpieces like Mos Def, The Roots and so on (I'm sure Southwest Sound could help you out). Listen to them, hear them, let the message soak in. Maybe you'll find that whitey's bringing you down, too. He might find rap a little less cool if you like it. Worst-case scenario: Buy two plane tickets to L.A., drop him off in South Central at midnight on a Friday and watch his whiteness come out.

Word to Malik Shabazz.

I'm out, Diver

 

 


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