Dear Diver,

Why are so many people against jam bands? Don’t they realize that it is the wave of the future? The improvisation makes people have fun! Not to mention the “extra-curricular” you can score in the parking lot! I love it! It’s party music, and the fans are so charming (despite the fact that some of them do smell.) So why do some people hate it so?

– Mike

Word, Hippie Mike,

What? You mean people don’t like Flash Dem Monkeys and their 10-minute-long guitar riffs? We can’t imagine why not! Jen spins herself silly every time we go out! You must be friends with the sage graffiti artist – her work is all over town, but our favorite is in the Summit bathroom. Her advice to all jam band fans: “When in doubt, twirl.” And who could forget the ever popular “all you need in life is a hula hoop?” These wise words and jam bands’ improv may not be pure, but they have the best interests of free spirits like you at heart. Keep this in mind as you bounce in front of the stage next weekend – maybe jam band music, like patchouli, is an acquired taste.

– Divers


I just returned to Omaha from a nice trip to Durango. I enjoyed your paper and the oh-so irreverent “Ask the Diver” column. Tell me, what is the deal with fashion in Durango? Everyone wears those cowboy-like Carhartt pants, and the hippies look like they slept in their pajama-like clothes. Omaha ain’t Paris, but Durango fashion is comparable to the way workers dress in a junkyard. What’s the deal?

– Jim, via e-mail

Dear Jimmy,

You are not the first to question Durango’s unique concept of what’s in vogue. (Some famous magazine deemed us the worst-dressed town in the nation for 10 years running.) What many fail to see, however, is that people of all kinds live here in harmony, like a delicate tundra ecosystem. Each group has its own special style that is part of its survival, and the resulting fashion cacophony is what gives Durango its accessible, charming appeal. Besides, if people like Jackie couldn’t wear their sexy pajama-like clothes to work, she’d have to go naked, and that is a huge violation of health code.

–Keepin’ it real (and covered), Divers


What is the standard amount you should tip at a restaurant that offers counter service? How about if the service sucks?

– Curious, Steve

Dear Steve-O,

Technically, there is no standard amount to tip for counter service. But remember this: that extra dollar, or fiver, you place cheerfully in that cleverly labeled tipping jar will make us smile, and then you’ll smile, and then you carry that toothy grin out into the world. Like a drop of joy in the pond of the universe, tipping is the gift that keeps on giving.

– Tipping is sexy, Divers

P.S. If the service sucks, then the counter person is in extra dire need of that little drop of happiness you provide.







Diver: Jen, Jackie and Bree from Nini’s.

Facts: The Flying Burrito Sisters offer three times the good advice for the lovelorn, lost and fashion-challenged people of Durango.


Got a dirty little secret?
Looking for guidance to remedy a sticky situation?

Seek help from the master of the kitchen! The Dish Diver has solutions to life's little messes. Send your problems to "Ask the Diver." - By mail to Durango Telegraph - Attn Diver -534 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301; by email at, or by fax at 259-0448.

Dear Diver,

Often when I drive around town I notice stoned looking kids jaywalking and rarely looking both ways before they cross the street. When I often have to slam on my brakes to avoid these morons, they look at me like I’ve done something wrong, or they want to fight or something. Sometimes I want to get out of the car and punch them in the mouth. Is this ok?

– Myra in Durango

My, my,

We agree, juvenile use of marijuana is a very serious issue, as is motorist violence. Even more disturbing, however, are baked drivers. We were walking our drunk asses to another bar last Friday night when Bree had to pull us to safety so we wouldn’t get squished into the crosswalk by a brand new SUV with a Jerry Lives! sticker on it. Some said the driver was drunk, others suggested distraction, but nay, he was stoned. Please hide the keys from your trust-fund boyfriend and seek anger management counseling.

– Sober drivers are sexy, Divers





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