| Dear
Diver,
Why are so many people against jam bands? Don’t
they realize that it is the wave of the future? The improvisation
makes people have fun! Not to mention the “extra-curricular”
you can score in the parking lot! I love it! It’s party
music, and the fans are so charming (despite the fact that some
of them do smell.) So why do some people hate it so?
– Mike
Word, Hippie Mike,
What? You mean people don’t like Flash Dem Monkeys and
their 10-minute-long guitar riffs? We can’t imagine why
not! Jen spins herself silly every time we go out! You must
be friends with the sage graffiti artist – her work is
all over town, but our favorite is in the Summit bathroom. Her
advice to all jam band fans: “When in doubt, twirl.”
And who could forget the ever popular “all you need in
life is a hula hoop?” These wise words and jam bands’
improv may not be pure, but they have the best interests of
free spirits like you at heart. Keep this in mind as you bounce
in front of the stage next weekend – maybe jam band music,
like patchouli, is an acquired taste.
– Divers
Diver, I just returned to Omaha from
a nice trip to Durango. I enjoyed your paper and the oh-so irreverent
“Ask the Diver” column. Tell me, what is the deal
with fashion in Durango? Everyone wears those cowboy-like Carhartt
pants, and the hippies look like they slept in their pajama-like
clothes. Omaha ain’t Paris, but Durango fashion is comparable
to the way workers dress in a junkyard. What’s the deal?
– Jim, via e-mail
Dear Jimmy,
You are not the first to question Durango’s unique concept
of what’s in vogue. (Some famous magazine deemed us the
worst-dressed town in the nation for 10 years running.) What
many fail to see, however, is that people of all kinds live
here in harmony, like a delicate tundra ecosystem. Each group
has its own special style that is part of its survival, and
the resulting fashion cacophony is what gives Durango its accessible,
charming appeal. Besides, if people like Jackie couldn’t
wear their sexy pajama-like clothes to work, she’d have
to go naked, and that is a huge violation of health code.
–Keepin’ it real (and covered),
Divers
Diver,
What is the standard amount you should tip at a restaurant
that offers counter service? How about if the service sucks?
– Curious, Steve
Dear Steve-O,
Technically, there is no standard amount to tip for counter
service. But remember this: that extra dollar, or fiver, you
place cheerfully in that cleverly labeled tipping jar will make
us smile, and then you’ll smile, and then you carry that
toothy grin out into the world. Like a drop of joy in the pond
of the universe, tipping is the gift that keeps on giving.
– Tipping is sexy, Divers
P.S. If the service sucks, then the counter person is in extra
dire need of that little drop of happiness you provide.
|
| Diver:
Jen, Jackie and Bree from Nini’s.
Facts: The Flying Burrito Sisters offer three times the
good advice for the lovelorn, lost and fashion-challenged
people of Durango.
|
|
Got a dirty little secret?
Looking for guidance to remedy a sticky situation?
Seek help from the
master of the kitchen! The Dish Diver has solutions to
life's little messes. Send your problems to "Ask
the Diver." - By mail to Durango Telegraph - Attn
Diver -534 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301; by email at telegraph@durangotelegraph.com,
or by fax at 259-0448. |
Dear Diver,
Often when I drive around town I notice stoned looking
kids jaywalking and rarely looking both ways before they cross
the street. When I often have to slam on my brakes to avoid
these morons, they look at me like I’ve done something
wrong, or they want to fight or something. Sometimes I want
to get out of the car and punch them in the mouth. Is this ok?
– Myra in Durango
My, my,
We agree, juvenile use of marijuana is a very serious issue,
as is motorist violence. Even more disturbing, however, are
baked drivers. We were walking our drunk asses to another bar
last Friday night when Bree had to pull us to safety so we wouldn’t
get squished into the crosswalk by a brand new SUV with a Jerry
Lives! sticker on it. Some said the driver was drunk, others
suggested distraction, but nay, he was stoned. Please hide the
keys from your trust-fund boyfriend and seek anger management
counseling.
– Sober drivers are sexy, Divers
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