Adios Durango, the nicest punks and Hassel the Hoff

by Mike Sheahan

F or almost two years now, "The Goods" has been a column dedicated to providing you, the respected reader, with the best ideas for fun and good times in and around Durango. My suggestions have not always been winners (Cross Canadian Ragweed, anyone?) or sometimes not even accurate, but the intent has always been the same: For all of us to have the best possible time while maybe sharing a laugh about some of the silly crap going on around us.

The Pacific Ocean and a more humid climate has called the Sheahan clan back to the West Coast and, as much as I'd like to keep writing "The Goods," y'all probably don't give a whit about the goings on in Eugene, Ore. There's no telling what p.16(ish) of this paper will look like next week, but be sure it'll be there and at least as, or more, fun and informative than it has been.

As much as I'd like to serve up a weepy, beery love/hate letter to Durango with my last few precious words, that would be silly, embarrassing and excruciatingly boring. Besides, there is too much fun to be had to waste time on such treacle.

One could really spend this entire weekend at Storyville without getting bored. On Friday, May 28, The 'Ville presents a double bill featuring a couple of bands that are no strangers to "The Goods." Suitcase , a group that I should be beaten with an extension cord for not having yet seen, will split the bill with Durango's nicest punks, Amazing Larry . Even though I've not seen the Suitcase kids, friends whose musical taste is to be trusted like a Psalm say this band is well worth their salt. Be like me, prove it to yourself Friday.

Amazing Larry delivers a steady machine gun blast of two-minute songs that contain enough melody to keep them all from running together, but completely lack any of the "Fisher-Price Punk" of bands like Blink-182. Simply put, even if loud and fast is not your bag, this band should be seen simply for their exuberance and energy. The show starts around 9 p.m.

The next night, Saturday, May 29, at Storyville, another local group, Big Open Space will showcase its acoustic-based sound. Lately rumors have been flying that this would be the band's last show as a member was doing the fashionable thing by leaving town. That is not going to happen, and Big Open Space will still be hanging around, but that shouldn't diminish your sense of urgency. These guys don't play out all that often. This is an early show, look for the tunes to start around 8 p.m.

Fans of Cuban salsa music will want to hit The Abbey Theatre on Saturday for a command performance by Son Como Son . The heat and energy that this band produces has made even the most reluctant dancers, specifically yours truly, horribly attempt the south of the border two-step. I don't know if it's the horns, the syncopated rhythms or the scantily clad clientele, but this salsa music is hot stuff, get what I'm saying? The band should hit around 9 p.m.

Five years ago, I moved to Durango with no real plan and in search of some vague connection to my own personal history. I wound up with a life more planned than ever and a dippy soul search that proved pointless. It's an age old clich`E9, but what Wolfe, Kerouac and the rest said about going home again is true. You literally can't because it's not there anymore. As I stupidly learned the obvious though, I managed to forge a new family in an old place, do some fun work and make a bus load of friends that'll stay with me in my next new home. For those reasons, and many others, Durango will always be my hometown. I thank all of you who helped make that happen. It's been a great run.

As a fitting end to this version of "The Goods," it seems in order to revisit an old feature, thanks largely to heads up work by "Ask the Diver" stalwart and inside-out-coat-wearing local Dan Groth.

This week's sign the end is near: From the world of bizarre pairings comes news that rapper Ice-T has signed on to produce an album of rap music by "Knight Rider" star and "Baywatch" mogul, David Hasselhoff. Ice-T is best known for presenting the rap song "Cop Killer" in the wake of the Rodney King riots and for claiming to be an actual pimp even after making his millions. Hasselhoff is, of course, best known for running down a beach in slow motion alongside a hepatitis-free Pam Anderson. Ice-T is presenting his new rapping friend as, and I swizzear to Gizzod this is trizzue, "Hassel the Hoff."

Maybe we should have seen this coming. After all, should a rapper named after a summertime thirst quencher ever be taken seriously? Plus, Pat Boone's foray into heavy metal should have taught us that nothing is impossible. Still, don't be surprised if one of those mountains outside of L.A. erupts and delivers a boiling river of cheese through a particular Hollywood neighborhood. Hey, maybe it'll pick up Joan Rivers and Michael Eisner along the way.

The rest of us should simply dodge wayward asteroids. Thanks for reading my Goods, friends.




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