| Diver,
I just found out my younger sister has been sleeping
with her college boyfriend. She’s in 11th grade, and he
goes to the Fort. First off, I don’t think it’s
too cool for a college student to date someone in high school.
Second, I don’t want him sleeping with my sister. I’m
not the “older brother” type who hassles guys who
date my younger sister, but now I want to be. Should I handle
this myself, or turn her over to my parents?
– Concerned bro
Dear Concerned bro,
This is tricky. Do your parents know that your sister is dating
a college guy? If not, you should confront your sister about
it first. Explain to her your concern and the safety and family
risks involved with premarital relations. Explain to her that
as a brother, her safety and health are foremost and that you
simply don’t approve. If she is not getting the hint,
threaten to turn her in to the parents. Then go give that college
kid a firm talking toA0and make him think twice about messing
with any boy’s little sister again.
– Good luck, Diver
Dear Diver, I was goofing off on
the internet recently and got into a dating chat room. I met
this really nice girl, and we hit it off immediately (well,
as much as you can hit it off with someone on a computer.) Now
she wants to meet face to face, which I don’t want to
do. She lives in Grand Junction, so it’s not like she’s
traveling far to get here, but I just fear she isn’t going
to be hot (I know that’s shallow, but I’m just being
honest). Should I just break this off?
– Douglas
Douglas,
Man, don’t judge the situation until you’ve fully
embraced it. This could be your one chance at real love and
you are being shallow? Man, maybe you should get out of town
for the weekend and go visit her. I hear the fertile climate
of Grand Junction produces some pretty fine vixens. You might
want to wait until the first weekend in June when the moon is
at its fullest and everything will flow.
– Good luck and hyeah,
Delirious and deleterious Diver Dan
Diver,
My softball team sucks, and I want to quit. However,
the other players on the team are all my friends, and I don’t
want to let them down, but I just can’t stand going out
to the fields every week only to be killed. Do you think if
I quit the team the other players would be mad at me?
– Kid in Left Field
Dear Kid in Left Field,
Really, don’t give up on your team. This could be a crew
of unfound talent. Friendship is the first key to teamwork,
and you are all buddies. Perhaps you should have a pre-game
party and show the other teams how much fun you have. Maybe
you could get a few star players to convert. It isn’t
over until it’s over, and your team needs you. Go out
there and hit a home run.
– Your Diver Dan
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| Diver:
Dan Grinnan from Mama’s Boy
Facts: Despite the backlash from
the middle school community last time Dan was the Diver,
he has decided to continue his advice dispensing because
his advice actually makes sense.
|
|
Got a dirty little secret?
Looking for guidance to remedy a sticky situation?
Seek help from the
master of the kitchen! The Dish Diver has solutions to
life's little messes. Send your problems to "Ask
the Diver." - By mail to Durango Telegraph - Attn
Diver -534 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301; by email at telegraph@durangotelegraph.com,
or by fax at 259-0448. |
Diver,
I quit smoking about 11 months ago. Things have
been going good, I haven’t gained weight or anything,
but my stress and anger level has risen quite a bit. Now any
little thing sets me off. If I get stuck at a red light, I cuss.
If someone cuts me off in traffic, I give them the finger. If
I catch my girlfriend cheating on me, well, we haven’t
gotten there yet, I don’t know what I’d do. Probably
start smoking again. What can I do to curb the anger?
– Lars
Dear Lars,
First and foremost, change your name. It will give you a renewed
sense of self and the whole world will begin to change in appearance.
It’s all perspective, man. I think you were angry long
before you took that first cigarette. So look back and find
what is really bothering you. Is it your mom, your dad? Maybe
sexual tension is the real issue here. I think it’s great
that you have quit smoking, but the new challenge is to get
that anger in check. Are you good at softball?
– Hoping not to see you at a red light,
Diver Dan
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