Dear Diver,

What’s a good response when a potential boyfriend asks the number of people you’ve ever been with? In my case, the truth stings, but for other single ladies out there, what should be the “proper” answer?

– Questioning, no regrets

P.S. Diving is excellent.

Dear Questioning,

A good response would be to be honest. Everybody has a past that is their own business. Anyone that’s going to judge your past is lame anyway. For me, as long as your “number” isn’t increasing by more than me while we’re together, the past is done. You might want to see a doctor about that sting though; passing on the sting is real rude.

– Diver

P.S. Mmm... diving.

Why don’t people who ride road bicycles observe traffic laws? Do they have to? I’m talking about road cyclist athlete types and the typical person blowing through the stop signs at Eighth Street and Third Ave. It’s crazy out there.

– Barrett, via e-mail

Barrett,

In the case of the “road cyclist athlete types,” it is because they are way higher on the social and evolutionary ladders. Just ask them. As for the typical person blowing through the stop signs at Eighth and Third, natural selection has a funny way of eventually taking care of them. I relish every stop sign. If nothing else, it’s an opportunity to smoke.

– Diver

Dear Diver,

How do I keep my kids from “web surfing” to inappropriate pages? There are so many disgusting web sites it sickens me, and it seems like any type of parental block program doesn’t work. There is just too much smut. What can I do, because there is good stuff on the internet as well?

– Miffed Mom

Miffed Mom,

Too much smut? The only real solution would be to kill your computer. I thought the smut was the good stuff on the internet. Perhaps there is an Amish military school you could enroll them in. Check the web. Start your search with “smut free Amish,” yousure to find something informative.

– Good luck, Diver