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by Mike Sheahan
Baseball season is finally here. Unofficially
the season began at 3 a.m. last Tuesday with a game in Japan,
and yes I did stay up to watch. Officially though, the season
gets under way April 3. Everywhere you go you can hear baseball
nuts like myself discussing the relative merits of Preston Wilson's
.282 batting average or the possible impact of Ken Griffey Jr.'s
most recent injury on their fantasy baseball team.
The beginning of
baseball season brings, along with the ideas of the coming summer,
a sense of rebirth and all that claptrap, an excuse to quit
feigning interest in either the NBA or NHL. Baseball truly is a
sport in which any team can win it all. Which means that even
though the season is so long, as I hear many detractors complain,
every game is crucial. Besides, people only think baseball season
is so long because baseball teams play every day. The NHL and NBA
seasons, including playoffs, run longer than baseball but one
rarely hears an Avalanche fan complain that the hockey season is
too long.
Given that this weekend
carries the start of baseball season and the NCAA basketball Final
Four, there really seems no reason for us to put down our boxes of
Ding Dongs and pitchers of margaritas and actually get out and do
something, if you feel so inclined, and you should. Tequila is
served almost everywhere, and your Hostess products will still be
fine even if you're gone for many years.
Anybody who has seen the Eminem biopic "8 Mile" knows exactly
what an MC battle is. For those who don't here's a bit of an
explanation. During an MC battle, combatants square off against
one another in an effort to discern the best MC, rapper or,
if you wish, freestyler. The freestyler generally raps about
his  competition's
lack of finances or personal hygiene, and if the MC has his
or her chops, they insert a bit about how chubby, smelly or
just plain ugly is the mother of the competition. Interested
parties are hereby referred to KDUR's student run "Word of Mouth
MC Battle," which happens Friday, April 2, in the Fort Lewis
College ballroom on the third floor of the College Union Building.
Cash prizes will be awarded to the winners of this all-ages
event. One should expect plenty of low-slung Levis, sideways
trucker caps and the freshest rhymes this side of Puff Daddy,
y'all. Cover at the ballroom door is $5, and the rhyme bustin'
starts at 9 p.m.
I'm stealing and paraphrasing a line from someone large in
American history here, but I think this news is just as important.
Ahem, The Jager Bus is coming! The Jager Bus is coming! Just
as Paul Revere saw two lights and not one across the Charles
River and rode through the New England countryside warning of
the coming British invasion, I received an e-mail and am proud
to announce that the  Jagermeister
bus, filled with Jager girls, will soon be hitting downtown
Durango. Jagermeister is an odd cough syrup-like liqueur that
somehow enjoys a universal popularity. The Jager Bus and its
girls will be making stops all around town, one need only look
for the tanker with a German looking green and white logo pasted
to the side.
I have heard, via a
piece of insider information so tasty it would make Martha Stewart
blush, that this bus will be parked in front of Storyville on
Friday, the 2nd.
The purple magic elixir
known as Jagermeister will be on crazy special, the Jager girls
will pretend to like you, and Durango's musical version of Jager,
Freewill Recovery, will be on stage. What a plug, if I don't get a
free Jager bottle after this, Iswitching to Agwa.
Quote of the week: "Dude we're totally gonna get
on that bus, bro. How sick is that gonna be?!"
Website of the
Week: Teachers
applaud the World Wide Web as a great resource for knowledge;
police love the web as a place to enjoy nabbing weirdoes; and Al
Gore enjoys the web because he invented it. The rest of us know
that, apart from managing our fantasy sports teams and
"accidentally" looking at naked pictures, the web is really best
used as a time-wasting device. Honestly, when my deadline for this
column nears, I suddenly develop an unhealthy interest in Haitian
politics. www.virtualbubblewrap.com allows you the freeing
ability to fully admit that you are wasting your time by popping
virtual bubbles online. The only thing more sadly pathetic than
popping bubbles online is going to those speed-dating meetings. At
least no one watches you pop computer bubbles.
Album of the week:
"Songs From the Tin Shed," an album by Jeff Austin of the
Yonder Mountain String Band and Chris Castino of the Big Wu,
represents a "back to the roots" movement by both musicians. Fans
used to the sprawling arrangements and extended jams of each
player's main gig will be surprised by sparse instrumentation with
abbreviated solos. Banjo, mandolin and fiddle are used in turn to
fill the gaps left by the guitar and voice. "Songs From the Tin
Shed" is a very tastefully put together record, and the players are
obviously very comfortable with one another.
That said, the album is hardly a departure at all. None of the
songs on "Tin Shed" would sound that out of place on any YMSB
album. Maybe it's the fact that all of Austin's bandmates sit in at
some point, but this album simply comes off as a laid back Yonder
Mountain String Band effort. Which probably means it'll be wildly
successful.
"Songs From the Tin Shed" does succeed at being a harmless,
unaffecting piece of background music. Oh yeah, the Yonder Mountain
boys are playing the FLC Concert Hall on Tuesday, April 6. General
Admission tickets are $20.
My name is Mike and I am here to say... mpsheahan@yahoo.com.
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