Is organic food a scam? How about over-the-counter medicine? I can drink a bottle of Nyquil and my cough doesn’t go away, and a $1.50 can of “organic” black beans tastes just like a .69-cent can of generic black beans. What do you think?

– McLean


Organic food: No. Over-the-counter medicine: Yes. Your cough: Try a vaporizer. The black beans: Well, there’s accounting for taste! Fatten up McLean, you should have gone to Skinny’s!

– Signed, The “scamming, medicated, vaporized so you can get through a shift” Diver


Six months ago, I served on a selection committee for the hiring of a new employee at my work. Well, they hired the person I didn’t want, he worked for six months, did nothing and then quit. We’ve since replaced him with someone more competent. However I still want to say “I told you so” to the other people on the committee, especially the people who strongly recommended the original person. Is that childish?

– Roger


I’ve always subscribed to the old theory on training dogs. Sometimes when they crap in the house you have to rub their nose in it. But saying “I told you so” would rank up there with schmucks who bitch about dogs being off their leashes. Instead just be extremely sarcastic. Refer to fellow committee members as “insightful one” or “he-who-makes-bad-decisions-so-we-can-all-work-harder one.” It works for me! Remember, you’ll always look better than the ones with crap on their nose. Ga ga goo goo, has anyone seen my pacifier?

– Diver

Dear Diver,

I keep seeing that “Seinfeld” episode where George “double dips” his chip into some form of party snack dip. Is that really rude? I’m just wondering, I had a party recently and my father kept double dipping, triple dipping and then some! And he is a stickler for “good” manners. What do you think?

– Laurie


First off, your dad must be an animal. I want to party with him. Well, maybe not, I don’t need the competition. We’ve all been busted by friends or significant others for dipping our “chips” or for thinking about dipping our “chip” in some form of “party snack.” Though I don’t call mine “chip,” the “master” is more fitting. After consulting the Bill Clinton sexual etiquette handbook, I must say distorted honesty is best. If you can get away with it. Rock on.

– Loving the triple double, Diver




Diver: Josh from Skinny’s

Facts: Skinny’s Grill co-owner Josh Rosenthal takes a break from skiing ...oops, I mean working, to “spread the love” through his infinite wisdom. Skinny’s is also one of the longest-running supporters of the Telegraph.


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Looking for guidance to remedy a sticky situation?

Seek help from the master of the kitchen! The Dish Diver has solutions to life's little messes. Send your problems to "Ask the Diver." - By mail to Durango Telegraph - Attn Diver -534 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301; by email at telegraph@durangotelegraph.com, or by fax at 259-0448.


My 6- and 8-year-olds are obsessed with “fart” jokes and the like. I was wondering where they learned this because neither me nor their stepfather engage in this behavior. One day they were talking to their father on the phone, and I could tell from the conversation that he was farting into the phone from his home. What do you do when the father of your children is more childish than the children themselves?

– Concerned Mom

Concerned Mom,

Well I would definitely recommend telling your children to wipe off the phone at their dad’s house before using it. Then I’d offer up one of those wisdom-packed phrases like “Do as I say, not as I do.” Let one rip, laugh for 10 minutes, and then show them what a Dutch oven is.

– Flatulently yours,







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