Boycott, Year of the Monkey and Mojo Box

by Mike Sheahan

T here comes a time in every person's life when one is forced to take a stand. To stop turning the other cheek and rise against his or her oppressors and say, to quote the brilliant movie "Network," "I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it anymore." For this columnist, that moment came suddenly last week. You see, for the better part of 10 years and in two different states, I have been accustomed to watching an episode of "The Simpsons" at both 5 and 10 p.m. It has, one can say, been a staple of my daily life. Like taxes and a Cher farewell tour, "The Simpsons" has been one of the few things I can rely on in this topsy turvy world.

Now here's the rub. Recently the knuckle draggers at Fox decided to bump Homer and gang back an hour in favor of some new junk pile that is no more than a cheap imitation of something Carson Daly did, poorly I might add, 10 years ago. Heads more level than mine have said "give it a month, Mike, the American Idol rejects show will tank, and your beloved TV family will soon return to their rightful throne." When that inevitably happens, we'll all have a dance party on the grave of the show's twirpy host, but that is not enough. Hardly. All concerned citizens should e-mail our local FOX affiliate, KASA2, at to express our displeasure. Through our tireless efforts, people, we can affect important change in our all-too-modern world. Oh, yeah, also try to recycle, I hear that's another worthy cause.

This week marks the beginning of the 15-day celebration that is the Chinese New Year . The celebration involves a myriad of special activities, including the potential calling of a re-do on the already discarded resolutions many of us made three weeks ago. Good luck, three week losers on another three. The May Palace, my favorite of Durango's Chinese restaurants, will be celebrating the ancient holiday by offering half-priced food specials running from Thursday to Saturday (Jan.22-24).

This celebration kicks off the Year of the Monkey, which should mean great things for the monkey-looking Olson Twins and gold medal figure skater Tara Lipinsky. Also, by my calculations, this week marks the Chinese New Year 4605. And just when I was getting used to putting 4604 on my checks. Ta-da-dum.

Friday, Jan. 23, brings the return of singer-songwriter Ian Moore to Storyville. Moore is an innovative guitar player and possesses a voice that has been described as "absolutely stunning." What I've heard of Moore's music suggests a songwriter of sprawling sound that is hard to categorize. Rightfully so, such a description may lead one to think of scary things like long, drawn-out, pointless jams. Not so. Moore's songs bring to mind the pop-based artistic sensibility of Tim Easton, Gerald Collier or the late Jeff Buckley. What one should expect from this show is well-written and arranged folk/rock delivered with a rock solid voice. What more could you really want? Show time is the always shady 9:30 p.m.

The next day, Saturday, Jan. 24, Durango Mountain Resort will host the Rotary Club sponsored Red Ball Express . People who have bought red ball tickets stand a chance to win up to $5,000 as they watch 300 red beach-sized balls race down a hill at DMR. The $5 tickets benefit many worthy institutions like 4H and Habitat for Humanity. And, since you're already at DMR, don't forget to shralp a little pow pow, bro.

O.K., I admit the last paragraph was written partly so I could use the term "shralp a little pow pow" because many of us over 16-years-old would like to know exactly what the hell that term means.

General consensus names it an outdoor winter activity phrase, but it could literally mean anything. Such as, "I really shralped the pow pow last night, bro" or "Dude, did you see Letterman last night? He really shralped the pow pow, bro." See? Here's an idea, put down the 3-foot Graphix and pick up a dictionary, bro. For more information about the Red Ball Express, visit

Website of the Week: If for some reason you think people are becoming a bit more intelligent and less susceptible to trash, stop what you're doing and visit any of the fan websites dedicated to the pseudo-celebrity Hilton sisters. My favorite is www.hiltonlounge .com . Skip the rest of the site and go straight to the forum section and your hatred for the idiocy of humanity will be duly resurrected. Plus, those girls are the shizzle and hizzle off the grizzle, am I wrizzong?


This Week's Record Album: Every couple of years, Chapel Hill, N.C.'s Southern Culture on the Skids releases a new album. Every couple of years, it seems like the same darn thing. That is, more twangy songs about the joys of white trash living: race cars, fried chicken, trailer parks and broke down cars. Add food and car-related sexual innuendo to the twangy, drum- and bass-heavy mix and what, on paper, sounds like a joke, is far less.

S.C.O.T.S. may be the best three piece band working right now. Their new release, "Mojo Box," showcases everything that is great about the trio. Ever present is the group's funky, almost perfect, surfy rhythms and instantly adorable new old-school melodies. Songs like the trailer life-loving "Doublewide" glue the group to its white trash identity, but the playing on "Mojo Box" eventually overpowers any stereotype the band has created for itself. The two instrumental songs, for example, "The Wet Spot" and "The Sweet Spot" are testament enough to the group's musical prowess. And when bass playing chanteuse Mary Huff drops the vocals on "Soulful Garage," the deal is set. Fans of Southern Culture on the Skids may consider this the band's best record since the seminal "Too Much Pork for Just One Fork." You should own this record.

Can you boycott FOX at all times?




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