by Mike Sheahan
T here comes a time in every person's
life when one is forced to take a stand. To stop turning the
other cheek and rise against his or her oppressors and say,
to quote the brilliant movie "Network," "I'm mad as hell, and
I'm not going to take it anymore." For this columnist, that
moment came suddenly last week. You see, for the better part
of 10 years and in two different states, I have been accustomed
to watching an episode of "The Simpsons" at both 5 and 10 p.m.
It has, one can say, been a staple of my daily life. Like taxes
and a Cher farewell tour, "The Simpsons" has been one of the
few things I can rely on in this topsy turvy world.
Now here's the rub.
Recently the knuckle draggers at Fox decided to bump Homer and gang
back an hour in favor of some new junk pile that is no more than a
cheap imitation of something Carson Daly did, poorly I might add,
10 years ago. Heads more level than mine have said "give it a
month, Mike, the American Idol rejects show will tank, and your
beloved TV family will soon return to their rightful throne." When
that inevitably happens, we'll all have a dance party on the grave
of the show's twirpy host, but that is not enough. Hardly. All
concerned citizens should e-mail our local FOX affiliate, KASA2, at
email@example.com to express our displeasure. Through
our tireless efforts, people, we can affect important change in our
all-too-modern world. Oh, yeah, also try to recycle, I hear that's
another worthy cause.
This week marks the beginning of the 15-day celebration that is
the Chinese New Year
. The celebration involves
a myriad of special activities, including the potential calling of
a re-do on the already discarded resolutions many of us made three
weeks ago. Good luck, three week losers on another three. The May
Palace, my favorite of Durango's Chinese restaurants, will be
celebrating the ancient holiday by offering half-priced food
specials running from Thursday to Saturday (Jan.22-24).
This celebration kicks
off the Year of the Monkey, which should mean great things for the
monkey-looking Olson Twins and gold medal figure skater Tara
Lipinsky. Also, by my calculations, this week marks the Chinese New
Year 4605. And just when I was getting used to putting 4604 on my
Friday, Jan. 23, brings
the return of singer-songwriter Ian Moore to Storyville. Moore is an innovative
guitar player and possesses a voice that has been described as
"absolutely stunning." What I've heard of Moore's music suggests a
songwriter of sprawling sound that is hard to categorize.
Rightfully so, such a description may lead one to think of scary
things like long, drawn-out, pointless jams. Not so. Moore's songs
bring to mind the pop-based artistic sensibility of Tim Easton,
Gerald Collier or the late Jeff Buckley. What one should expect
from this show is well-written and arranged folk/rock delivered
with a rock solid voice. What more could you really want? Show time
is the always shady 9:30 p.m.
The next day, Saturday,
Jan. 24, Durango Mountain Resort will host the Rotary Club
sponsored Red Ball
Express . People who
have bought red ball tickets stand a chance to win up to $5,000 as
they watch 300 red beach-sized balls race down a hill at DMR. The
$5 tickets benefit many worthy institutions like 4H and Habitat for
Humanity. And, since you're already at DMR, don't forget to shralp
a little pow pow, bro.
O.K., I admit the last
paragraph was written partly so I could use the term "shralp a
little pow pow" because many of us over 16-years-old would like to
know exactly what the hell that term means.
General consensus names
it an outdoor winter activity phrase, but it could literally mean
anything. Such as, "I really shralped the pow pow last night, bro"
or "Dude, did you see Letterman last night? He really shralped the
pow pow, bro." See? Here's an idea, put down the 3-foot Graphix and
pick up a dictionary, bro. For more information about the Red Ball
Express, visit www.durangoredball.com
Website of the
Week: If for some
reason you think people are becoming a bit more intelligent and
less susceptible to trash, stop what you're doing and visit any of
the fan websites dedicated to the pseudo-celebrity Hilton sisters.
My favorite is www.hiltonlounge .com
. Skip the rest of the site
and go straight to the forum section and your hatred for the idiocy
of humanity will be duly resurrected. Plus, those girls are the
shizzle and hizzle off the grizzle, am I wrizzong?
This Week's Record Album: Every couple
of years, Chapel Hill, N.C.'s Southern Culture on the Skids
releases a new album. Every couple of years, it seems like the
same darn thing. That is, more twangy songs about the joys of
white trash living: race cars, fried chicken, trailer parks
and broke down cars. Add food and car-related sexual innuendo
to the twangy, drum- and bass-heavy mix and what, on paper,
sounds like a joke, is far less.
S.C.O.T.S. may be the
best three piece band working right now. Their new release, "Mojo
Box," showcases everything that is great about the trio. Ever
present is the group's funky, almost perfect, surfy rhythms and
instantly adorable new old-school melodies. Songs like the trailer
life-loving "Doublewide" glue the group to its white trash
identity, but the playing on "Mojo Box" eventually overpowers any
stereotype the band has created for itself. The two instrumental
songs, for example, "The Wet Spot" and "The Sweet Spot" are
testament enough to the group's musical prowess. And when bass
playing chanteuse Mary Huff drops the vocals on "Soulful Garage,"
the deal is set. Fans of Southern Culture on the Skids may consider
this the band's best record since the seminal "Too Much Pork for
Just One Fork." You should own this record.
Can you boycott FOX at
all times? firstname.lastname@example.org