Dear Diver,

I'm a student at the Fort. I was eating lunch the other day and I was listening to people greet each other with phrases like "What up fool?" and "Whassup Dog?" What happened to catchy terms like "dude" and "bud?"

- Jack


Times are changing my Bizzle (brother)! Dude seems more annoying than anything. It shows that your friend doesn't know your name in the first place. So shizzelle your nizzelle my bizzle.

- Diver

(Note: The Durango Telegraph does not in any way, shape or form endorse trendy "izzle" talk.)

Dear Diver,

I'm a victim of extreme peer pressure around my workplace. Every afternoon my co-workers want to go to happy hour. I'm trying to quit drinking (I'm a bit of a lush), and they draw me into going every day. By 6 p.m., I'm bombed. Why do people try to make me do things I don't want to do?

- "Marjorie,"
via e-mail


Next time you write, leave your phone number. We love lushes. Bring your co-workers in. We have food and drinks! Maybe you should put some food in your gut so you don't get so tanked! As for doing things you don't want to do, exercise some discipline and show some freaking backbone, you lush!

-Cheers, Diver

Jason from J-Bo's

True divers don't bail for the holidays.


Got a dirty little secret?
Looking for guidance to remedy a sticky situation?

Seek help from the master of the kitchen! The Dish Diver has solutions to life's little messes. Send your problems to "Ask the Diver." - By mail to Durango Telegraph - Attn Diver -534 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301; by email at, or by fax at 259-0448.

Dear Diver,

Is it rude to immediately return gifts the day after Christmas? Basically my wife gives me junk like ties and automatic/rotating tie racks. I'm tired of junk.

- Lance,


You should be glad you have someone in your life that cares enough to get you something. You should also be glad you're not stuck in the cesspool called "the dating game."

- Happy holidays,


Why is this world filled with so many thugs? Rude people? Ignorance? Jerks? I mean, I know a lot of nice people but basically the human race sucks. Thoughts?

-Mrs. Incognito

Mrs. Incognito,

You need a change of scenery. Treat yourself to a small trip to a secluded island with native head hunters. When you return you may cherish the little things like thugs, ignorance and the human race.

-Good luck, Diver



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