Dear Diver:

I have often said that the goatee was the "mullet" of the '90s. Now, after experiencing almost three years post-Y2K, I believe that the frosted tips and/or the EMINEM bleach job is the mullet of the aughts. What do you think?

- Pop Culture Fan

Dear Pop Fan,

Normally I would defer this question to my dear friend Owen Dake, who at 30 enjoys a day at the salon for hair tinting and a regular frost as much as the next guy. But if you are looking for reassurance about stepping out as the Real Slim Shady, just remember that all those '80s band members had mullets and all of them had women dripping all over them. Some may say it was due to the fact that they were in a band, but I credit the mullet. Whatever the style you choose, stay tried and true.

- Diver


Does this town have any culture? I keep trying to find some, but all I come across are the same old bars, same old music and same old, same old. I just want some new experiences!

- Marla in Durango

Dear Marla,

Have you been in contact with my wife, because she plays that same old broken record? The way I see it, frequent those same ol' bars long enough (for example, Lady Falconburgh's Barley Exchange with 38 beers on tap, located at 640 Main Ave., in the historic district of downtown Durango, CO), and even that Western art that adorns so many of our local galleries will seem as if it belongs in the Louvre.

- Diver

Zak from Falconburgh's

Interesting fact:
This diver/owner who hails from Pittsburgh began washing dishes at the ripe age of 11 and is still hard at it 22 years later


Got a dirty little secret?
Looking for guidance to remedy a sticky situation?

Seek help from the master of the kitchen! The Dish Diver has solutions to life's little messes. Send your problems to "Ask the Diver." - By mail to Durango Telegraph - Attn Diver -534 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301; by email at, or by fax at 259-0448.


Somebody vandalized my vehicle a few weekends back. My tire was slashed and hood was keyed. How can I gain revenge on an unseen enemy? Shall I just start being a late-night thug, assuming everyone out after 2 a.m. is guilty?

- Brian

Dear Brian,

As an associate to the I Spy: Private Eye Detective Agency, my recommendation would be to contact J. Little Beaver himself to not only help in solving "who dunnit" but to enlist him to personally keep after all of your effects. And if all else fails, grab a couple of pals and start a band of late-night vigilantes, arm yourself with some potato guns and take back the night!

- Diver



What's the best way to discipline children? Thoughtful reasoning? A switch, belt or wooden spoon across the butt? The silent treatment?

-New mom

Dear New Mom,

I, too, find myself in the early stages of parenthood. Even though my little one is only 9 months old, I have just recently planted a willow tree in our back yard, because we've all been teen-agers, and she'll think twice next time, when she has to head out to pick her own switch.

- Diver



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