Dear Diver,
I was out of state visiting relatives and we went to dinner one night at the home of some friends of theirs.The woman had an unusual hobby - she collects PEZ dispensers. She must have had a hundred of them. It got me thinking about the different ways people spend their spare time. What's the strangest hobby you ever heard of?
- Regards,

Actually, Mr. Mark,

You got me thinking about strange collections rather than strange hobbies ... so allow me to digress.Finger/toenails and ones' own vomit.These are, most certainly, two of the strangest items I've ever heard of collecting. According to a close friend and trusted source, it seems as though some believe collecting discarded nail clippings allows access, via Black Magic, to the deepest recesses of the soul. And as for the vomit hoarding, I think there may be some connection to an eating or even an obsessive compulsive disorder, in which case it would be in the poorest of taste for even the Diver to downplay.

-Encouraging all overly conscious broads to shun the most recent societal perceptions of beauty,


Is there still a rivalry between East and West Coast rap, or does it all suck these days?

- Ginsel,

Hell yes!

There is still a rivalry between the coasts, Ginsel! It's circa 1995 and all hell is breakin' loose! And at last I heard you're right in the freaking middle of it all! Seriously, if I were you, I'd get my ass back under that rock you just crawled out from under, posthaste. (But in all honesty, the mass-marketed, studio-manufactured, overproduced, simpleminded, unoriginal, tripe the mainstream media attempts to pass off as rap or hip hop does, indeed, "suck these days."However, there is significantly more that does not.)

- Squashing all beef in the 20-ought-three,

Diver: Jon Lynch of the Sows Ear

Technically, Jon is not a diver. He provides spirits for people who live in the north country. However, Jon cleans more than his fair share of glasses, bringing him into the realm of Diver.


Got a dirty little secret?
Looking for guidance to remedy a sticky situation?

Seek help from the master of the kitchen! The Dish Diver has solutions to life's little messes. Send your problems to "Ask the Diver." - By mail to Durango Telegraph - Attn Diver -534 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301; by email at, or by fax at 259-0448.


My girlfriend that dumped me about five years ago has recently been talking trash about me. Why does she have me on her mind when she dumped me so long ago? I haven't spoken with her since we broke up! Is she jealous? Regretful? Crazy? I say the ladder.

- Joey in Durango


Perhaps she is still pissed that after five years your grammatical prowess hasn't improved one iota, Ladder Boy. Spell check doesn't have an idiut faktor, now does it?

- Diver



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