Dear Diver,
Last week we invited some people over for dinner. They showed up about 45 minutes late. There was no phone call, no explanation, no apology, nothing. A few minutes late is one thing, but this seemed pretty rude. Shouldn't they have said something? For that matter, should I have said something?
- Still steamed,


You could have said something when your guest arrived, maybe something clever, to address the issue at the time. But your guest may have had something really awful, embarrassing, something they could never tell anyone because it was so gross, or unpleasant, happen to them on the way over to your house. Think of the craziest thing that's ever happened to you and then imagine having to show up for dinner somewhere and tell everyone about it. But certainly you would lie because it was so awful and in turn your friendship would suffer because a great friendship can never be built on lies. So you have saved and even strengthened your relationship with these people by using discretion. You're an example for us all.

- Thanks,

Dear Diver,

What is the best way to keep abreast of all the hip fashions coming from Paris and London these days?
- Mike


By "hip fashions," I can only assume you're talking about the stylish bags, almost a purse but not quite, that men and women have garnished on their waists for nearly two decades. Once referred to as the "fanny pack," "hip fashions" are actually made in China and Guatemala exclusively now! You can find information about these fashion hotspots online.

- Good luck,Diver

Steve Morris, of Home Slice

The mysterious UFO seen in Durango skies a few weeks back was summoned by Steve so he could put those Area 51 rumors to bed once and for all.


Got a dirty little secret?
Looking for guidance to remedy a sticky situation?

Seek help from the master of the kitchen! The Dish Diver has solutions to life's little messes. Send your problems to "Ask the Diver." - By mail to Durango Telegraph - Attn Diver -534 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301; by email at, or by fax at 259-0448.

Dear Diver,
What is the best way to quit smoking? Cold Turkey? Substituting something else in place of cigarettes? Hypnotism? I need to quit!
- TH


Push-ups and sit-ups. Every time you crave a smoke just bust into some sit-ups until you're out of breath. You're gonna live longer and get super-ripped in the process.

- Thanks,Diver


I heckled an elderly man the other day because he threw a lit cigarette into the grass. He had no rebuttal. Afterwards I felt awful, wondering if perhaps this man was a veteran of WWII or something. Maybe he was involved in D-Day. I am not pro war, but I don't deny the hardships some soldiers went through in wars that may have been necessary. I mean, during WWII we stopped someone who was attempting to wipe out an entire race (but not before he killed 6 million people). Should I feel bad?
- Jack


Maybe. Now normally I would think, "Gosh that guy should know that he's being a real meanie by not caring about where we live to keep it all nice and tidy, and boy, I'm gonna tell him." So I say something to the guy, and he could care less, in fact, is probably more likely to do it again, more consciously the next time, just to spite the jerk that told him how to run his day-to-day and this causes the vicious cycle that is pollution, the more you bitch the more resistance you get. Try a different approach.

- Thanks,



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