by Mike Sheahan

H alloween is this Friday. What that means, of course, is children of all ages will dress up as their favorite spook or cartoon character and trick or treat their neighbors or attend apple-bobbing parties. Others still will fill our local watering holes for a night of costumed binge drinking. Like New Year's Eve and St. Patrick's Day, Halloween is largely an amateur night populated by the inexperienced and reckless. Therefore, it's a night that I prefer to lay low, opting instead to trick or treat with the younguns. That's what the holiday is really about - kids and candy. It shouldn't be about guys in drag and Jager shots.

If, for you, Halloween is all about the par-tay, then you've no doubt spent the last week agonizing over whether to dress up as Britney Spears or a hobo and haven't had time to check out what's actually happening that night. That's where "The Goods" comes in. I've done your homework for you. Have fun out there, but remember, just because you're dressed like Superman or a prostitute doesn't mean you really are them. Behave yourselves enough to wake up Saturday with a little self respect.

The semilegendary ska/punk band Reel Big Fish will perform at the Student Life Center at Fort Lewis College Halloween night. Reel Big Fish delivers an energetic, over-the-top performance that should have the nearly 2,000 attendees skanking with pride. Tickets for that gig will run you 25 bucks, but since it's on the Fort Lewis campus there is almost no chance of having someone's cosmopolitan spilled on you. That's worth a lot.

There will be Halloween festivities at the Diamond Circle Theater also. Local upstarts Final Ascent will be providing the musical entertainment, and the $2 Jello shots will make the evening popular with the just-turned-21 crowd. The cover for this event is a mere $4, and the winner of the costume contest gets a weekend for two at the Strater Hotel.

Jeff Strahan and the Strangers will do their thing at Scoot •Blues Halloween evening. What makes this interesting, though, is Scoot •Blues, along with Durango Transportation, is offering a free shuttle service to and from the night club that night. I often hear people excuse their irresponsible behavior by claiming there is a lack of alternatives to driving when a bit tipsy. It seems on Friday there is an option. Call Durango Transportation at 259-4818 for more details.

The annual KDUR Halloween party "Superheroes, Spies Like Us and Transvestites, Too" will take place at the Abbey Theatre this year and the traditional "Transvestite Ball" theme has morphed a bit. Party goers are still encouraged to do it up in drag but superhero and spy costumes are also welcome. If you still haven't had a chance to check out the Abbey's awesome new sound and light system, this is your perfect chance. The cover is $8, DJs will be spinning all your favorite dance numbers and, in typical KDUR fashion, there will be prizes galore for the best costumes.

The day after Halloween is one of the hardest days of all to get people interested in getting out on the town. Whether it's booze or candy, hangovers reign supreme on Nov. 1. Revelers from the night prior are often too busy removing fingernail polish from compromising areas or in church repenting. However, these ideas could turn the weekend into a full-fledged bender. Good luck.

Durango's hardest working band, Freewill Recovery will be rocking the Summit the day after the monumental party. It's quite bold to do a show on Nov. 1, but there are few local bands that can pull off such a feat. Freewill, I think, is one of them. Of course, I'll be coming off two days' rest, ready to rock. If you go look for me stage front, Zippo raised proudly.

The Abbey Theatre doesn't plan on slowing down after the holiday at all, nor should you. Leave the fingernail polish on, dredge up some fishnet stockings and turn up at 11 p.m., Nov 1, for the Rocky Horror Picture Show . This is the movie that inspired cult movie fans to waste their youths watching the same damn thing over and over for months on end. I have no regrets, though, and think the repetition actually prepared me for the constant repeating of "you want fries?"Make some toast, bring an umbrella, and memorize your lines, the Rocky Horror Picture Show is something to be experienced at least once.

Website of the week: Have you ever wondered if you are the only person in the world pissed off by the Olsen twins? I know I have. Now, www.amiannoying.com will set all your worries to rest. This site gives you the chance to judge the relative merits of everybody from ABBA to ZZ Top. With something like 4,000 entries on "Am I Annoying," it doesn't start and stop with musicians. Larry King, Bill Clinton and Zimbabawe all receive the test. As a visitor to the site you vote on whether someone or something is annoying, then you see the hilarious results. Currently, right wing nut job and misguided TV commentator Ann Coulter reigns as most annoying.

This week's best album: "Blue Sky" by The Bottle Rockets . Upon first hearing The Bottle Rockets, I thought to myself "This is the house band I want in my corner bar." For a while they were that band in some corner, at some bar. They eventually became something more than a bar band and released a string of albums, some great, some not so great. After one last gasp at becoming the famous band they should have become, two founding members split the band leaving the remaining songwriter, Brian Henneman, to his own devices.

The Rockets have always been a voice of the blue collar or downtrodden, and from the first track this album insists nothing has changed. "Lucky Break" is an infectious number about a guy who just happens to get seriously injured after retaining benefits. Workman's comp is a paid vacation for this happy feller. The second track, "Man of Constant Anxiety" plays on the success of its obvious predecessor but reverses the theme. With only two exceptions, that is exactly what "Blue Sky" is: smart songwriting by a songster who may have been hamstrung by his old band. "Blue Sky's" problems happen when the other members of the band chime in.

One Jello shot or two? mpsheahan@yahoo.com.