|
Diver,
Is this a safe time to travel out of the country, or are America
and Americans still hated?
-Lance
Lance, Let's be honest, it's not safe to walk out your front door because Americans hate Americans, and in some parts of our peace-loving country, you're more likely to get shot by some kid then get hurt by someone from another country. To answer your question, well it depends on how smart or stupid you are. As a general rule of thumb, stay away from countries we are at war with or that have a reputation for making headlines due to the number of American hostages they have taken. Don't say things that are overly biased or insulting to residents of other countries. And last but not least, don't wear an outfit that resembles the American flag, and try not to look too much like a tourist.
- See you abroad,
Diver
Diver,
I think they should build a homeless shelter in Horse Gulch since there are so many homeless people living there anyway. What do you think?
-Tony
Tony, That's just what we need, and we can stick it up on the hillside and paint it bright, fluorescent colors. Honestly, it might not be a bad idea. I know many people who use Horse Gulch as a late-night recreational spot. A homeless shelter would give the homeless protection from those who go shoot potato guns late at night after the bars close.
- See you in Horse Gulch,
Diver
|
|
Diver: John Park, from Old Tymers
Facts: Another new diver, John is a straight-shooter, whose advice actually makes sense and is useful. He also happens to be the first diver to sport a tucked-in shirt and belt.
|
|
Got a dirty little secret?
Looking for guidance to remedy a sticky situation?
Seek help from the master of the kitchen! The Dish Diver has solutions
to life's little messes. Send your problems to "Ask
the Diver." - By mail to Durango Telegraph - Attn
Diver -534 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301; by email at
telegraph@durangotelegraph.com,
or by fax at 259-0448. |
Dear Diver,
Where in the hell did all the orange bikes go?
- David,
via e-mail
David,
I respect the person who came up with the idea of trying to
creating an environment that many could benefit from and enjoy.
It would be nice to be able to ride a bike from one end of town
to the other without having to feed the parking meter every
time you went somewhere new. Not to mention the environmental
benefits it would have. I think that the "free-to-take" bikes
were stolen by someone whose cunning and genius were matched
only by their bravery and age. And now the bikes are being sold
for beer on the black market.
- Enjoy,
Diver
Diver,
I like your paper a lot. However, how come in
the "Thumbin' It" column, you gave a "thumbs down" to dry weather/drought,
and then another "Thumbs Down" to the heavy rains we had a few
weeks back? What the hell is up with that? I know we didn't
need 6 feet of mud on Highway 550. However we need the rain,
even if it is that much. Why contradict yourself?
- Mike
Mike,
You're the person that uses the "hotter-then-hell" hot sauce
and then complains about it being too hot! Well actually Mike,
the Telegraph is trying to singlehandedly create a new hand
sign for Durango. Now make a fist and stick your thumb out,
then point the thumb down. Do you see the resemblance of a cloud
in the sky with a lightning bolt coming out of it? The thumb
is the lightning bolt and the fist is the cloud. Instead of
the peace sign, the wave, the two finger salute, or the single
finger wave/point (all of which are ways Durangoans have said
hello to each other over the years) the thumbs down is Durango's
new way of saying, "Hello, let it precipitate."
- Thanks,
Diver
|
