Is this a safe time to travel out of the country, or are America and Americans still hated?



Let's be honest, it's not safe to walk out your front door because Americans hate Americans, and in some parts of our peace-loving country, you're more likely to get shot by some kid then get hurt by someone from another country. To answer your question, well it depends on how smart or stupid you are. As a general rule of thumb, stay away from countries we are at war with or that have a reputation for making headlines due to the number of American hostages they have taken. Don't say things that are overly biased or insulting to residents of other countries. And last but not least, don't wear an outfit that resembles the American flag, and try not to look too much like a tourist.

- See you abroad,

I think they should build a homeless shelter in Horse Gulch since there are so many homeless people living there anyway. What do you think?



That's just what we need, and we can stick it up on the hillside and paint it bright, fluorescent colors. Honestly, it might not be a bad idea. I know many people who use Horse Gulch as a late-night recreational spot. A homeless shelter would give the homeless protection from those who go shoot potato guns late at night after the bars close.

- See you in Horse Gulch,

John Park, from Old Tymers

Another new diver, John is a straight-shooter, whose advice actually makes sense and is useful. He also happens to be the first diver to sport a tucked-in shirt and belt.


Got a dirty little secret?
Looking for guidance to remedy a sticky situation?

Seek help from the master of the kitchen! The Dish Diver has solutions to life's little messes. Send your problems to "Ask the Diver." - By mail to Durango Telegraph - Attn Diver -534 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301; by email at telegraph@durangotelegraph.com, or by fax at 259-0448.

Dear Diver,

Where in the hell did all the orange bikes go?
- David,
via e-mail


I respect the person who came up with the idea of trying to creating an environment that many could benefit from and enjoy. It would be nice to be able to ride a bike from one end of town to the other without having to feed the parking meter every time you went somewhere new. Not to mention the environmental benefits it would have. I think that the "free-to-take" bikes were stolen by someone whose cunning and genius were matched only by their bravery and age. And now the bikes are being sold for beer on the black market.

- Enjoy,

I like your paper a lot. However, how come in the "Thumbin' It" column, you gave a "thumbs down" to dry weather/drought, and then another "Thumbs Down" to the heavy rains we had a few weeks back? What the hell is up with that? I know we didn't need 6 feet of mud on Highway 550. However we need the rain, even if it is that much. Why contradict yourself?
- Mike


You're the person that uses the "hotter-then-hell" hot sauce and then complains about it being too hot! Well actually Mike, the Telegraph is trying to singlehandedly create a new hand sign for Durango. Now make a fist and stick your thumb out, then point the thumb down. Do you see the resemblance of a cloud in the sky with a lightning bolt coming out of it? The thumb is the lightning bolt and the fist is the cloud. Instead of the peace sign, the wave, the two finger salute, or the single finger wave/point (all of which are ways Durangoans have said hello to each other over the years) the thumbs down is Durango's new way of saying, "Hello, let it precipitate."

- Thanks,



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