I have noticed in this town (I'm sure it is the same with many college/tourist towns) that there is a lot of crappy service. Recently while ordering food, I had to repeat my order three times to the girl behind the counter (who was busy rehashing the previous night's antics to her co-worker), and she still messed up my order. As far as I'm concerned she deserved no tip, nor a paycheck. Is it OK not to tip for poor service?
- Concerned, via e-mail

Dear Concerned,

Not tipping for poor service is perfectly fine. Just remember, you're in Durango where most restaurant employees are high or hungover - or both.

- Good luck, Diver

Dear Diver,
I recently started seeing this guy who seems to be an intriguing prospect. However, I am a little concerned about his cleanliness - or should I say, lack thereof. During a recent visit to his apartment, I couldn't help but notice multiple discarded pizza boxes and dust bunnies the size of Volkswagens - not to mention unspeakable horrors in the bathroom. What does this say about his character? Should I run for the hills?

- Not a Dust Bunny

Dear "Not a Dust Bunny,"

This says nothing about a man's character. It says nothing about being a man. What it says is that he is desperately missing his mommy.

- Thanks, Diver

Joei Nakamama from Stonehouse Subs

Not only is Joei a Stonehouse diver, he also doubles as KDUR'S Hawaiian LL Kool J.


Got a dirty little secret?
Looking for guidance to remedy a sticky situation?

Seek help from the master of the kitchen! The Dish Diver has solutions to life's little messes. Send your problems to "Ask the Diver." - By mail to Durango Telegraph - Attn Diver -534 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301; by email at telegraph@durangotelegraph.com, or by fax at 259-0448.

Dear Diver,

What is the best way to break my boyfriend of his obnoxious habits? We are moving in together, but I am hesitant because of the whole "toilet-seat-left-up" thing. I love the guy, he sometimes just grosses me out.

- Please help, Laura via e-mail


Quit nectar-nursing him until he changes his ways. Or maybe you should talk to him. Perhaps he just doesn't know he is being obnoxious.

- Thanks for writing, Diver

Dear Diver,

This is another in what I'm sure is a long list of in-law questions. This is about my father in law. When he comes to visit all he talks about is how great my husband's ex-girlfriend is. I guess she still lives near my in-laws and he sees her, or is still friends with her or something. This is driving me crazy. It's also driving my husband crazy. I find it quite rude. How can I tell him to either a) stop talking about her, or b) stop visiting?

- Angry

Dear Angry,

Speak up and tell you father-in-law that the ex is not to be spoken of in your household. Stand up for yourself. Perhaps you also should randomly insult your father-in-law. Put him down for menial things, such as his age, weight, size of his manhood, things like that. Be even more childish than him. Two wrongs don't make a right, but it might make you feel better.

- Thanks, Diver



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