I’m in ninth grade, and there is this girl
at school that I like. She does not like me. She would much
rather hang out with her boyfriend, who plays football. She
and I have known each other since grade school, but she would
rather go out with jocks who treat her badly. I know for a fact
that her boyfriend cheats on her (so does she), but she continues
to see him. What can I do to make her realize I like her and
wouldn’t treat her as bad as this guy does? Also, why
do girls go out with guys who treat them like dirt?
Hey there big guy, every girl swoons over a freshman in a marching
band uniform. Marching takes every bit the athletic prowess
of football. Who wants to be called a jock when you can be called
a musician? Rock stars like Kenny G started in a marching band.
Band members are on the road a lot and have just as good a chance
cheating as big dumb jocks. To your dismay, she will love you
for this. Confess that you like her while you are in uniform.
Girls like to talk about their boyfriends. Being treated like
dirt gives them even more to talk about. My mom says girls like
nice guys, but nice guys finish last. Good luck learning to
play the tuba.
– Your friend, Diver Sam
What’s the best time of year to plant tomatoes?
I’m trying to get into gardening, but I need some help.
I figure, you know how to clean dishes and give advice, what
– Earl, Baltimore, via e-mail
I understand your primal urge to get back to nature, but dude,
gardening? Yeah, right. Plant little seeds in a planter full
of dirt, water them and put them in a warm, sunny place. Do
this soon after the winter solstice. Take it from the diver.
Buy some grow lights and plant a little “herb” garden
between your fledgling tomato plants. You’ll have big
ol’ honkers by April and can cut loose to do what you
really wanna do during the summer, like getting out of Baltimore.
– In your best interest, Diver Sam
Should Fort Lewis College have a football team?
They don’t ever seem to win. Shouldn’t the school,
which is having financial difficulties, find a better way to
– Curious, via e-mail
Umm...before I answer, how big are Fort Lewis College football
players? Perhaps it’s just the crowd I hang out with,
but when people think of Durango, college football isn’t
the first thing that springs to mind. The pink house maybe.
Or “courtesy” parking tickets. But FLC football?
Perhaps FLC could shift money to athletic programs that keep
Durango on the college sports map, like mountain biking. Just
a thought. Until then, tear it up gods of the gridiron! Rah,
-Good luck, Diver Bryan
Divers: Sam Creacy and Bryan
Facts: These two do diving
tours for desert biking and camping expeditions. They
know how to do dishes the correct way, using very little
water – and a lot of sand.
Got a dirty little secret?
Looking for guidance to remedy a sticky situation?
Seek help from the master of the kitchen! The Dish Diver has solutions
to life's little messes. Send your problems to "Ask
the Diver." - By mail to Durango Telegraph - Attn
Diver -534 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301; by email at
or by fax at 259-0448.
When I was a child, I enjoyed reading. However,
kids these days would rather watch lame television shows or
listen to music made by talentless hacks like Britney Spears.
How can I influence children, especially mine, to read more,
– Joan, via e-mail
TV exposes you to amazing possibilities that no book could
even approach – a day in the life of those wacky meerkats;
home-decorating competitions; “Texas Justice” in
Spanish; hilarious sitcoms; and informative programs on how
to make cash from your home! I recently enjoyed the life story
of Britney Spears on VH-1. Talentless hack? I don’t see
why you have it in for her. She is talented and engaging. Envy
perhaps? TV has broadened my knowledge, one reason why I’m
so highly recruited for social gatherings. Put down your book,
Joan, and let television expand your horizons.
– Thanks, Diver Bryan