| Dear
Diver,
I’m going on a European backpacking trip,
and I need to know what to bring. I have decent walking shoes,
the Let’s Go book and clothes, but what do you recommend
besides that? Have you ever been to Europe?
– Heather,
via e-mail
Heather,
I’ve never been to Europe, but here are some really good
tips that have come from my strong intuitive grasp on culture.
1. Three words: fanny packs, fanny packs, fanny packs. Can there
be anything as pragmatic and handy as a fanny pack? 2. Make
sure you talk very loud and slow when in non-English speaking
countries. They might not understand you. 3. Bust out your old
“These Colors Don’t Run” T-shirt. Let those
Euros know who’s boss.
–Thanks
Diver
Diver,
Does recycling really work?
– Curious in Durango
Curious,
Recycling works, but it also serves to make an otherwise environmentally
careless person think he/she is a regular Thoreau. For example,
one might put a bottle in the recycling bin, but then shower
for 45 minutes after taking a Hummer “mudding” through
a pristine alpine wetland. Recycling only really works if it
is part of a broader behavior pattern. Unfortunately, people
usually think of themselves as more earth-friendly than they
actually are. Maybe we are all doomed.
–Thanks,
Diver
|
|
Diver: Dan
Groth, of Buzz House fame
Facts: Dan once judged a “hip
moustache” contest among Hollywood hot-shots.
Tom Selleck was barely edged out by Lee Horsely, but
then was beaten in the finals by pitching great Rollie
Fingers.
|
|
Got a dirty little secret?
Looking for guidance to remedy a sticky situation?
Seek help from the master of the kitchen! The Dish Diver has solutions
to life's little messes. Send your problems to "Ask
the Diver." - By mail to Durango Telegraph - Attn
Diver -534 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301; by email at
telegraph@durangotelegraph.com,
or by fax at 259-0448. |
Dear Diver,
I keep getting asked to be on that goofy game show
on DCAT, but I don’t want to because I think I will be
humiliated. However, I think it looks kind of fun, I’m
just nervous. What can I do to calm my nerves, and then go on?
– Beth,
Durango
Beth,
You are gorgeous. No matter how badly you perform on the game
show, your gorgeousness will blind people to reality. I suggest
you purchase an evening gown for the show’s taping (perhaps
a tiara with an enormous gem will even more fully enchant viewers).
If you still feel nervous, horse tranquilizers work really well.
–Good luck,
Diver
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