Welcome to "The Goods," where mere
moments ago the members of my household were treated to a viewing
of the latest Gap commercial, this one starring Madonna. In it she
is lip synching the words to a song of her own except the lyrics
are rewritten. Now the song's about buying pants. At first, such a
sell out seemed criminal since there is no way she can need the
money. Soon, though, I realized that one cannot expect too much
from a person who goes on a three-year spiritual quest and comes
back with nothing but a fake English accent. Ah, but there is
enough happening in our own back yard to not waste too much time
grousing about the career of some pop diva.
Fans of the jam
Panic who have not
already done so must now drop everything and split for Telluride.
Tonight, Aug. 14, is the second night of a two-day stand put on by
the 'Spread at Telluride's scenic Town Park. It is quite likely
that all the Spread Heads are already in Telluride twirling to
their heart's content as, amongst the band's fans, missing a show
is akin to bogarting a joint. That is to say, it just isn't done.
But this column is a public service, so if you are reading this and
forgot to go, feel free to feel serviced.
Along the same lines but
farther away in Lyons this weekend plays host to the Rocky Mountain Folks
Festival . A
three-day affair that begins Friday, Aug. 15, and runs through
Sunday, the festival features such luminaries as Chris Robinson
from the Black Crowes, Utah Phillips, Patty Griffin and the Indigo
Girls. If, like me, this point in the summer finds you tiring of
the outdoor mega music festival, it's OK. Even though you will miss
Richard Thompson and Norah Jones, you won't have to sit through
sets by the aforementioned artists. And at nearly 200 bucks for
admission and camping, you have to be one huge Indigo Girls fan to
make the trip. Besides, there is a much less populated festival
coming up in Pagosa Springs next week.
Maybe folk music, peace
and love aren't your ideals but you still think the idea of
following a musician around to various venues is cool--I have the
master "Weird" Al
beginning his three-city tour of our neck on Friday at Kiva
Auditorium in Albuquerque. He then plays the Colorado State Fair in
Pueblo on Aug. 16 and somewhere in Denver on Aug. 17. Astute
readers may remember last week when this column poked fun at the
hip hop version of Weird Al, Puff Daddy. The difference is that
Yankovic is the original modern song thief and he's funny. Who can
forget "Like a Surgeon" (the second best rewriting of a Madonna
song after that Gap commercial) or "I'm Fat" from the perspective
of a chubby Michael Jackson? Hardy har, that's rich stuff. If, for
some crazy reason you can only attend one show, by all means make
it the State Fair in Pueblo. It's outdoors, and the odor-rich air
will lend a classy touch of irony to a song like "Eat It," another
There are a couple of
bands playing in town for people inadequately enticed by the above.
One of Durango's best bluegrass acts, The Badly Bent , holds court at Steamworks on Friday,
Aug. 15, and the following night at Haggard's Black Dog Tavern.
Local favorite jam guys Freewill Recovery play the Summit on Saturday. Both
groups are worth the cover if you've never seen them before, and if
you have seen them you know what both offer. The Badly Bent offers
traditional bluegrass tunes by some of the most seasoned musicians
in town. Conversely, Freewill Recovery is a group of youngsters who
can cover Phish or Grand Funk Railroad with equal alacrity. For
those of us who will be in town all weekend, this is the perfect
This week's sign that the end is
near: We all know by
now that Arnold Schwarzenegger is running for governor of
California. It's an idea that's funny until one realizes that in
some polls, nearly 45 percent of voters say they would vote for The
Terminator/ Kindergarten Cop. That isn't funny; it's just plain
scary. What is funny is the list of people running with him. Among
the nearly 150 candidates, there are a couple of ex-porn stars,
someone's dog and Gary Coleman.
This week's greatest hits package:
Earlier this week Elektra
records released "Legacy: The Absolute Best of the Doors" to an
unsuspecting public. It is a two-disc collection of the drug-addled
1960s group's best known songs, which is fine. Greatest hits
collections serve a real purpose, but the Doors is a band that
already has 19 greatest hits packages including five(!) box sets.
Nobody, excepting the Beatles maybe, deserves that much tribute.
The Doors only released six studio albums after all. Here is an
idea: Take the 30 bucks this album will cost you and go see someone
that is vital today. During the day listen to the local classic
rock radio station, you'll hear "Light my Fire" several
Who will win if Gary
Coleman debates the dog?