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by Mike Sheahan
This is “The Goods,” the weekly entertainment
“’sup?” that couldn’t be happier now
that what looks like an actual monsoon season could be upon
us. Maybe now we will no longer be forced to watch our neighbors
water their lawns at 2 p.m. on a 90-degree day. They may as
well stick a hose in the gutter for all the good that does.
Of course these early evening showers will do little to deter
the town’s biggest waster of water, our own city government.
Due to a penchant for Pinstripe and a raging case of insomnia
(the result of a crushing blow to the head at age 8) I am often
out and about during the early  morning
hours. The same hours that our parks and other public areas
are being watered by massive city-run irrigation systems. Practically
every time I pass one of these systems in action, there is some
broken part watering the street, sidewalk or anything concrete,
with many gallons of water per minute. Plus, the lack of water
pressure resulting from such a breach often renders the rest
of the system useless. I’ll admit to being new to these
parts, but I’m pretty sure such waste is kinda bad. Ah,
whadda ya gonna do? Like a brilliant fourth-grader once said
“Can’t win. Why try?”
The week’s entertainment begins tonight, July 31, with
a “Goddess Festival” in the  Pullman
room at The Strater Hotel starting at 6 p.m. I’m not really
sure what a Goddess is, but if you consider yourself one, then
this event’s door prizes, music and “high vibrational
energy” are just for you. It does seem like any event
that comes with “high vibrational energy” ought
to be held in a serene Aspen glade or at a place like Chimney
Rock rather than a hotel banquet room, but what do I know? I’m
not a Goddess.
The tickets are $25 each or two for $40, and that should buy
a lot of good vibes.
You know, life in Durango is not all about wasting water and
hotel banquet rooms. This is a town rich in things like marijuana-smoking
college kids, overpriced three-bedroom houses and, of course,
the performing arts. If for some reason you feel as if you’re
not getting enough of the latter, read on, dear friend, read
on.
There are a couple of live theater choices that seem compelling
this week beginning with a piece called “Hooters.”
A parental-advisory play featuring Durango High School Alumni,
“Hooters” offers sexual situations and coarse language.
Assuming this is not a play about a couple of horny owls, one
can surmise what much of the show is about. Oooh, now that’s
racy.
The play shows Friday, Aug. 1, at 8p.m. and Saturday, the 2nd,
at 2 p.m. and 8 p.m. All performances take place at the Durango
Arts Center.
 I
am not ashamed to say that a few decades ago I was heavily involved
in the Boy Scouts of America. It was a great experience for
a rural suburban kid such as myself: I got out of my parents
house for a weekend every month, learned to smoke cigarettes
and somehow became an Eagle Scout, the highest award one can
earn in the Boy Scouts. I say this because I can’t wait
to attend “Eagle Scout: A One Act Play” at the Buzz
House on Friday night. The play, written by one of this paper’s
most popular “Ask the Diver” contributors, Dan Groth,
is about two old friends who bump into each another after several
years. Both just happen to be wearing their old Boy Scout outfits,
and from there, one assumes, hilarity ensues.
The show happens around 8:30 pm, but there is a multimedia
found-art show starting at 7 p.m. Hands down this wins the quirky
show award for the month.
You may not know it yet but the big deal this week happens
on Sunday, the 3rd, at Trimble Hot Springs. Yours truly will
be there celebrating his birthday, and for a few hours, we will
transform that hot pool in back into Heffner’s Grotto.
That is, if you consider a chubby dude in his mid-30s wearing
an American Flag Speedo Hef’s Grotto. That’s right,
like a great portion of beach going America, I’m proud
to show my love for my country by wearing its flag climbing
up my crack.
Really though, and by coincidence, the Lawn Chair Kings will
perform at the Satchmo Stage starting at 1 p.m., and even though
I may decide to leave said Speedo home, it should be a great
day in the sun with lots of fun people around. I’ll be
the one with a 2-year-old.
Last Week’s Sign: One of the first people I met when I
moved to Durango was a guy named Steve Poleski. I was in town
four days and had just begun a volunteer shift at KDUR. He and
I talked in the KDUR hallway for quite a while that day before
he suddenly remembered something and split. Ever since then,
Steve had this uncanny ability to pick up wherever our last
conversation had let off. We never became really close, but
every time we saw one another our conversations were genuine,
and he always remembered my daughter’s name and guessed
her age within a month.
That’s something some of my best friends can’t
do.
Durango lost an icon and an incredibly sincere, down-to-earth
guy in Tye-Dyed Steve, and he is missed by more people than
he would have ever guessed.
mpsheahan@yahoo.com
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