There’s a guy at work who is totally good for nothing. The only thing he is good at is letting the rest of us take the blame when he screws up. For some reason, the boss doesn’t see it. We’re getting tired of getting jumped on for mistakes we didn’t make. What do we do? Confront the guy (again), or lay it all out to the boss and hope he sees our side for a change?

– Fed Up, via e-mail

Dear Fed Up,

Take some notes. Obviously your co-worker is smarter than you. Here in America it is generally the “yes” men that get ahead. Either start kissing more boss butt or do what you and your co-workers have been planning, lynch the bastard.

– Good luck, Diver

Dear Diver,

I hate that show “The Osbornes.” Basically Ozzy is a decrepit hobbling old man and his kids are snobby punks and a menace to decent society. Yet America loves them. Remember in the ’80s when Ozzy was hated? If a reality television show was made about Charles Manson, would America suddenly begin to love him? Why does reality television make the worst humans lovable to America?

– Curious, Jane in Hermosa

Dear Curious Jane,

What country club were you watching and listening to Ozzy from? Metal ruled the ’80s – we loved him them and again now. All that was great makes a comeback, for example the mullet. Ozzy is no exception. As for making the Osbornes loveable, take a look at your family photo. Even the Johnsons look respectable.

– Good luck, Diver

Dear Diver,

I have noticed that lots of people have been driving like maniacs lately. I can’t see why someone in Durango needs to be in such a hurry to get somewhere. What is the need to get to the next stop light before I do? Won’t we all get there soon enough? I know I drive a slow VW, but at least I use my turn signal.

– Thanks, Kubiak

Dear Kubiak,

Who do you think you are sitting so “high” on your VW horse? The majority of us have to keep a schedule in order to make ends meet in this great community. Just think about that next time you are racing to the homies to test that new harvest.

– Enjoy, Diver


Diver: Jason Wolff, of J.Bo’s Pizza and Ribs

Facts: Jason is another in a short list of the rare hybrid of Diver/Owners, also known as the species Dishus-Ownerus-Crazius. Good luck, Jason.


Got a dirty little secret?
Looking for guidance to remedy a sticky situation?

Seek help from the master of the kitchen! The Dish Diver has solutions to life's little messes. Send your problems to "Ask the Diver." - By mail to Durango Telegraph - Attn Diver -534 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301; by email at telegraph@durangotelegraph.com, or by fax at 259-0448.

Dear Diver,

I read that some film board had people vote on the greatest movie villain of all time. I think the winner was Hannibal Lechter from “Silence of the Lambs.” Personally, I’d say Dean Wormer from “Animal House.” Who would you pick for best bad guy?

– Your friend, Arnie


Being that “Rocky I” to “V” were the all-time greatest movies ever, I would have to say Mr. T. is the most villainest character ever.

– I pity you fool, Diver




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