Dear Diver, I recently was a victim of
the "Fashion Police." Unlike many in town, I find the "Fashion
Police" column funny because I have a sense of humor and don't take
myself too seriously. However, I would like to avoid seeing myself
in there again. Where can I pick up fashion tips? I'm not looking
to dress like I'm in New York or Paris, but I could use some
help. Thanks,
Jason
in Durango
Dear Jason,
Your choice to think of
yourself as a "victim" of the Fashion Police is disheartening. As
far as I see it, the Fashion Police is a showcase for trendsetters
to reach a larger audience, and while the wording that accompanies
the photos is often sarcastic and may be construed as harsh, with
total lack of concern for the "models'" feelings, it's important to
realize this is how the ruthless world of fashion works.
Thanks,
Diver
Dear Diver,
What's the best way to get
rid of Pac-Man fever? -Anonymous
Dear Drug-Using-Club-Kid,
The government is here
to help you With the recently passed "Rave Act," the government
is hoping to eliminate social gatherings with DJ's (we'll call them
"Raves") by holding promoters responsible for the actions of those
in attendance .I know this seems a little insane, because you're
thinking, "How can one person be held responsible for the actions
of another person whose actions are a product of their own
free will?" And while some argue that blame and punishment are being
misguided onto innocent entrepreneurs, it is safe to assume that
the "Rave Act" will stop kids from dancing all night long in dark
rooms, listening to electronic music and eating "power pellets,"
thus further squelching any outbreaks of "Pac-Man
Fever."
Good
Luck,
Diver
Dear Diver,
A friend of mine says
there is no such thing as luck. He says people make their own luck
by effort and planning, etc. I say there is luck. How else do you
explain Leonardo Dicaprio? I'll admit that for some of us, luck is
finding a quarter on the street, and for other people luck is
getting rescued off Niagara Falls, like that guy a few months back.
But we all have luck to some degree, don't you think? Ed K.,
via e-mail
Dear Ed-K,
Leonardo Dicaprio spent years turning tricks on the casting couches of Hollywood
before he got a break. If you call that luck, I call you crazy! Luck is just
another word for Life.
Enjoy,
Diver
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Diver: Steve Morris, of
Homeslice
Facts: Steve is not only
a champion of conspiracy, he is THE defender of the Fashion
Police.
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Got a dirty little secret?
Looking for guidance to remedy a sticky situation?
Seek help from the master of the kitchen! The Dish Diver has solutions
to life's little messes. Send your problems to "Ask
the Diver." - By mail to Durango Telegraph - Attn
Diver -534 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301; by email at
telegraph@durangotelegraph.com,
or by fax at 259-0448. |
Dear Diver,
I'm trying to hire a new
assistant. Of the two finalists, one is a guy who's pretty good;
the other is much more qualified, and she's a total knock-out. I
know which one my wife wants to hire, what about you? Your input is
greatly needed and appreciated. Personally I think she looks better
than my wife, the knock-out I mean.
Lawrence
Dear Lawrence,
Your ambiguity is
profound. I can't tell, even remotely, what you're getting at here.
Is this girl's beauty a bad thing? Or are you saying that's a
plus?Which one does your wife want you to hire?The guy, so
she can see him around the workplace and daydream about paperback
love novels? Or the girl, because she is more qualified and, as
your assistant, would perform her work at such a level as to rise
the quality of your work which makes the family more money? You
say she "looks better than my wife," sounds like you might be the
one daydreamin' here. Hire the girl.
Happy Raving,
Diver
Dear Diver,
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