Dear Diver,

My ex-wife is getting remarried and sent me an invitation to the wedding. I think I’d feel kind of weird hearing her make all those promises again, only to someone else. If I don’t go, am
I expected to send a gift? She already got half of everything. Can I just ignore it? Or should I suck it up and go to make our daughter happy?

– No name


Why did you have to bring up your daughter? Good day to that! If you don’t want to go, then send a card. Otherwise, go and tell us what happened..

– Good luck, Diver

Dear Diver,

A woman I work with can’t see worth a darn, but she refuses to get her eyes checked because she’s afraid she’ll have to wear glasses. If a person thinks she’ll be less attractive by wearing glasses, does she think it is attractive to be squinting all the time? Why do some people think it’s better to look good than to see well?

– Nancy


First of all, you should be asking this question to Carrie Bradshaw, from “Sex and the City,” you misty ass. Studies show people are nicer when they think they look better, especially if they aren’t wearing their glasses. They don’t drive much better though.

– Thanks,


Hey Diver,

How do I fix a starter on a 1987 Toyota pickup?

– Wondering, Jim


You can start by getting a new car! Then don’t ask me you misty, I’m the damn diver.

– Thanks, Diver


Diver: Matt from Flander’s

Facts: Another first-time Diver who has much knowledge of the important things … television and
video games played on television..


Got a dirty little secret?
Looking for guidance to remedy a sticky situation?

Seek help from the master of the kitchen! The Dish Diver has solutions to life's little messes. Send your problems to "Ask the Diver." - By mail to Durango Telegraph - Attn Diver -534 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301; by email at, or by fax at 259-0448.


Our 15-year-old son spends all his time playing computer games. I think he should be going out, meeting girls and making friends. The wife thinks everything’s OK, and it’s just a phase he’s going through. But the kid never leaves the house. What do we do?.

– Dan,

Via e-mail


First of all, does your son know any codes in the game
“ Myst?” Because I love it. Just kidding. Well, don’t worry.
Your son is 15, so deal with it. I’ve heard genius comes
from loneliness and living behind locked doors anyway.

– Good Luck,



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