Dear Diver,

My ex-wife is getting remarried and sent me an invitation to the wedding. I think I’d feel kind of weird hearing her make all those promises again, only to someone else. If I don’t go, am
I expected to send a gift? She already got half of everything. Can I just ignore it? Or should I suck it up and go to make our daughter happy?

– No name

Misty,

Why did you have to bring up your daughter? Good day to that! If you don’t want to go, then send a card. Otherwise, go and tell us what happened..

– Good luck, Diver

Dear Diver,

A woman I work with can’t see worth a darn, but she refuses to get her eyes checked because she’s afraid she’ll have to wear glasses. If a person thinks she’ll be less attractive by wearing glasses, does she think it is attractive to be squinting all the time? Why do some people think it’s better to look good than to see well?

– Nancy

Nancy,

First of all, you should be asking this question to Carrie Bradshaw, from “Sex and the City,” you misty ass. Studies show people are nicer when they think they look better, especially if they aren’t wearing their glasses. They don’t drive much better though.

– Thanks,

Diver

Hey Diver,

How do I fix a starter on a 1987 Toyota pickup?

– Wondering, Jim

Jim,

You can start by getting a new car! Then don’t ask me you misty, I’m the damn diver.

– Thanks, Diver