Dear Diver,
What are your thoughts on long-distance relationships?
Do they work? I really like this guy, and he’s going off
to Costa Rica for six months. I want to attempt to make this
work. How can I make him want this as much as me, even though
we’ll be so far apart?
– Brook,
Durango
Dear Brook,
Stick a fork in it, because this relationship is done. Unless
you are married, long-distance relationships don’t work.
Even if you do try, most men can’t seem to keep that thing
in their pants, if you know what I mean.
– Your friend,
Diver
Diver,
Is a podiatrist considered a real doctor?
– Lauren,
Hermosa
Lauren,
Once I had a bunion on my foot the size of Rhode Island, and
a podiatrist got rid of it for me. Does that answer your question?
– Good luck,
Diver
Diver,
My live-in girlfriend has remained good friends
with a high school sweetheart, who wants to come visit. I am
not cool with this. I don’t mind his phone calls and letter
writing, but I would rather not her “ex” come and
stay with us in my house. Am I being paranoid? Should I worry?
Your advice is greatly appreciated.
– Thanks,
Stan
Dear Stan,
Perhaps you should take this opportunity to contact one of
your old high school girlfriends. Call an old prom date. Track
down that girl from 10th grade who looked like she was in 12th
grade. Better yet, make friends with a girl now who seems to
catch your eye. Basically, you should be paranoid. Your girlfriend
is going to dump you for this dude quicker than a New York minute.
My advice to you is to start cheating immediately because your
relationship is all but over. Go for it.
– Diver
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| Diver:
Rob Lawrence, of Sunnyside Farms Market
Facts: Rob will soon be applying
his diver skills to fatherhood. Apparently dirty dishes
are similar to dirty diapers.
|
|
Got a dirty little secret?
Looking for guidance to remedy a sticky situation?
Seek help from the master of the kitchen! The Dish Diver has solutions
to life's little messes. Send your problems to "Ask
the Diver." - By mail to Durango Telegraph - Attn
Diver -534 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301; by email at
telegraph@durangotelegraph.com,
or by fax at 259-0448. |
Dear Diver,
Ever since my husband retired four
years ago, I can’t get him to take me on a vacation.
He says he doesn’t need one because he’s on a
permanent vacation now. How can I persuade him to get up from
the recliner and go someplace interesting?
– Mrs. G.
Dear Mrs. G,
My girlfriend and I would be happy to vacation
with you. And I have two words for you...HOT TUB.
– See you on vacation,
Diver
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