For no reason I thought I’d write a paper on “the election of 1844 and its impact on the concept of manifest destiny.” I’m thinking I will make 4-6 pages, and include at least 5 quotations. Also footnotes. So I was wondering if you could give me a quotation on that subject. Make it as long as possible. I’m sort of in a hurry to complete this paper so could I have your quote by Friday?

- Thanks in advance,



“Horace Greely was a cross-dresser.” How’s that for a quote?


Dear Diver,

Why is it that men are so loyal to their favorite sports teams, but such traitors to the women who care about them?


Hmmm...what’s that? We were watching the game.

- Thanks,


Dear Diver,

Because of our western heritage here in Durango and all the horses in the area, I had an idea. What if we changed the name of Main Avenue to MANE Avenue (as in a horse’s mane)? Lots of towns have Main Street, but we could be different. How would I go about getting something like this started?

-VT Olson Jr.


Mane Ave...Mane. No, no, no, please refer to the next question.




Divers: Bill Graham and Jeff Ogden from Ska Brewing

Interesting Facts: In addition to being divers who clean HUGE dishes, Jeff and Bill also serve as certified judges for the “Pretzel Shove” contests all over the southwest. What’s a pretzel shove contest? Visit Ska and find out the hard way.


Got a dirty little secret?
Looking for guidance to remedy a sticky situation?

Seek help from the master of the kitchen! The Dish Diver has solutions to life's little messes. Send your problems to "Ask the Diver." - By mail to Durango Telegraph - Attn Diver -534 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301; by email at telegraph@durangotelegraph.com, or by fax at 259-0448.

Dear Diver,

Do you think that some of the problems people write in with are just, well, silly? Is the world full of losers who REALLY live like this, or is all this just made up?


Jack Jordan,


Hey Jack,

You wrote US pal!



Dear Diver,

Is it OK to take photos at a funeral? And what’s the deal with post-funeral activities? I have not been to a funeral in a while, but after the last one I went to we went back to my aunt’s house, where everyone pretty much got loaded. Oh yeah, and the picture thing, well, my crazy cousin was taking photos, and referring to something about the family never getting together, except when there is a funeral. Is this rude? And address the drinking issue as well please.



Molly McNabb,

Is that you lassy? Why you should know better than to mock yer Irish heritage in such a manner. Why we ought to be smashin’ ya with a shillelagh. Gettin’ drunk and takin’ photos at yer uncle’s wake is just one way of sayin “We’ll never see the likes of you again!” And we’re hopin’ he’s in heaven an hour before the Devil knows he’s dead. Now run along lassy, and hopefully the road rises to meet ya.





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