Dear Diver,

Does this town really need more townhomes?

– Wondering,

Melissa, Durango

Dear Melissa,

Absolutely not! Let’s turn toward affordable housing. Hopefully our newly elected City Council members will address this problem and solve it. Think globally and act locally.

– Diver

Dear Diver,

I’m an archeologist. I’ve been hired to work on a controversial building project in this area, and I have a dilemma. I am firmly against this building project, however if I take the job I am going to make some serious bank. Do I forego my beliefs and take the job since I desperately need the money, or should I stick to my guns? I don’t want to be poor forever!

– Hugh,


Dear Hugh,

Never “forgo” your beliefs. Money comes and money goes. Once you sell your soul, there’s no turning back. Make a difference, not a profit. You should set a new standard! Step up.

– Diver

Dear Diver,

Why are things sometimes spelled with silent letters, such as “knight?” Can’t you just take away the “k?” Let me know.

– Linda, Durango

Dear Linda,

With poetic license one can do anything. Take that “k” away. Happy semantics!

– Thanks, Diver


Diver: Markus Farkus and Leanne, from Grandma Chungs

Facts: Although not pictured, Leanne was a partner in this week’s Diver, bringing a dose of reality to the trivial concerns of the problem-plagued residents of Durango.


Got a dirty little secret?
Looking for guidance to remedy a sticky situation?

Seek help from the master of the kitchen! The Dish Diver has solutions to life's little messes. Send your problems to "Ask the Diver." - By mail to Durango Telegraph - Attn Diver -534 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301; by email at, or by fax at 259-0448.

Dear Diver,

There’s a guy at work who complains all the time about not being able to get women to go out with him. In trying to boost his self-esteem, I gave him a little pep talk and complimented him on his good qualities. After that, you guessed it, he asked me out. How do I let him know I was just trying to be a friend without hurting his self esteem?

– C.F.

Dear C.F.,

This is quite a mess you’ve gotten yourself into. I’m afraid there is no delicate way to break a man’s heart. If he’s such a “great” guy, maybe you should give him a chance. Good luck.

– Diver

P.S. Fat people need love, too!


I’m a diver, too, but don’t want to dive anymore. Doing dishes sucks. Do you have any aspirations to not be a diver?

– Sincerely,


Dear Chris,

Dishes don’t do themselves. Fortunately, I had aspirations to not do dishes a long time ago. Now when faced with dirty-ass dishes, I find it somewhat therapeutic. Quit bitching.

– Thanks,


P.S. There’s nothing worse than a salty diver.



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