Dear Diver,
I was born during a leap year, on Feb. 29th. Is it ok for me
to celebrate on the 28th?
– Wondering,
Ed, in town
Ed,
No, the 28th is a completely different day. My recommendation
to you: Celebrate Big!!! Every 4 years!!! Invite all, have
a huge celebration to celebrate the last four years and the
four to come. If you can’t hold back celebrating your
life for that long, do it yearly on the first of March. Confuse
people, so yearly your birthday can be a two-day celebration – the
28th to some, the first to others, and on leap year, have
a 3-day bash.”
– Thanks,
Diver Lylah
Dear Diver,
Relatives are coming for a visit in April. They’ve been
to Durango several times before, so we’ve done the train
with them and Mesa Verde and DMR, we even took them to Farmington
once! Can you think of any interesting or unusual things in
this area that they (and we) might enjoy?
– Thanks,
Alice
Goin’ out to Alice,
First, you need to stop by DNF and purchase your red, gold
and green wristbands (only $5) so you guys can be real gapers
(tourists). Then maybe go to Telluride. There you can ask
around for a local named Hubert. He should make the day very
interesting. Or maybe go to Forest Lakes and find the secret
indoor skatepark, if ya can, but you may have to pay the
toll to support the local economy. Ignacio is hopping this
time of year. And don’t forget the Oxford Grill. It
looks pretty shady but dare to go in for unknown objects
on the menu.
– Diver MX
Dear Diver,
I moved to Durango from the East Coast about two years ago.
The reason I came here is because I was living in Long Island
and making that crazy commute into the city five times a week,
spending what seemed like 10 hours a week in the car. Now my
commute here is much better, but with so much growth here I
have the feeling this place will be too crowded for me in a
couple of years. Do you have any suggestions on how I can make
life easier for myself when driving around this town?
– Jaimie,
Durango
Oh Jaimie,
My heart goes out to all of those poor people who pack all
their belongings into their Dodge Durangos and Cadillac Escalades.
They partake on a perilous journey to find a place where
the drive will be short to the Wal-Mart they brought with
them. When I think of their struggles, a single tear comes
to my eye. Maybe if the commute gets really bad, and you
are run out of your “new” home, all the other
victims of this horrible plague will get up and leave too,
and the problem will solve itself. I guess only time will
tell.
– Sympathetically yours,
Diver Kyle
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| Diver:
The entire five-person crew from The Durango Natural
Foods Deli
Interesting Facts: Easily
the handsomest bunch in the Diver pool. Teamwork rocks,
and this group knows it.
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Got a dirty little secret?
Looking for guidance to remedy a sticky situation?
Seek help from the
master of the kitchen! The Dish Diver has solutions
to life's little messes. Send your problems to "Ask
the Diver." - By mail to Durango Telegraph - Attn
Diver -534 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301; by email at
telegraph@durangotelegraph.com,
or by fax at 259-0448. |
Dear Diver,
Are there any more towns in Colorado or the West that reflect
the Wild West, or is this whole part of the country just
a playground for the rich?
– Bill in Boston
via e-mail
P.S.: I’m planning on moving, I just
don’t want to live near any “21st Poseur Cowboys.”
Boston Bill,
This is it! The Wild Wild West! We have a lot of real live
yahoos in these parts, kickin it with the sort of Bohemian/nomadic
types and “other” folk here in southwest
Colorado. Cowboys are definitely a part of Durango’s
landscape – hats, handlebar stashes, big four-by-four
trucks, sheep hoarding, city bashing, rednecks. Hell,
even John Wayne stayed here and liked it!!!!
– Diver Leah
Dear Diver,
What’s the worst form of entertainment invented?
My nominees are clarinet music, ventriloquists and tractor
pulls.
– Sincerely,
Eugene R. Nelson
P.S.: Also those comics that come
in bubble gum.
O.K. Eugene,
Bubble gum comics aside, let’s dive a little deeper
into the WORST possible forms of entertainment. I’d
nominate public tortures and executions as No. 1. Walkin’ on
eggshells in these times of religious fundamentalism, you
better damn well be noticeably entertained or else ...
be the next contestant in the circle of terrified gossip
to eventually end up on stage to your dismay. In France,
during the 1400 and 1500s, spectators sometimes even paid
good money for front row tickets. But on a lighter note,
I would have to say clowns rank No. 2 in my book for the
freakiest form of entertainment. Who, honestly, is comfortable
when picked out of a crowd by an overbearing, sadistically
smiling clown who desperately needs to try and force a
laugh out of you? Well, not me and as a child, I’d
cry.
– Diver Angela
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