Dear Diver,
How did you acquire your epicurean name: baked
or frying?
– Sincerely, Well done
but not burnt,
Durango
Well done but not burnt,
I assume you are either high or you’re asking as a connoisseur
whether I prefer baking or frying. Being from the South, I’ll
always prefer fried over baked. There is nothing quite like
a large turkey injected with Creole butter fried to cardiac-arrest
perfection. My question for you is, are you getting baked or
are you already fried?
– Thanks,
Diver
Dear Diver,
Are people getting stupider? It seems like it! Recently I came
home to find my son washing the car (in the winter) with
the windows open. My husband doesn’t know how to make
tea. I’ve been thinking about this for a long time.
– Maude,
Hesperus
Well Maude,
It seems like you’re asking about specific members of
your family, and I guess you would be the expert on that issue.
But people in general? I suppose you would need to look who
leads them. Take America’s leader, for example, George
W. Bush. Oh well I guess anything is possible.
– Good luck,
Diver
Dear Diver,
Is “Joe Millionaire” a sign of the fall of the
human race? Are we entering an age like the film “The
Running Man” when humans will compete against each other,
eventually resulting in televised death? Is “Joe Millionaire” detrimental
to the female population, presenting them as shallow and only
willing to marry for money?
– Bill,
Durango
Come On Bill,
It’s only a TV show, the fall of good television maybe.
Televised deaths? I’ll be watching. Have you ever seen
the Ultimate Fighting Championship? Sex, blood and guts sell.
As for “Joe Millionaire,” I think those ladies
represent only a miniscule amount of the female population.
– Thanks,
Diver
|
| Diver:
Derek Ayres from the Double Diamond and Cuckoo’s
Facts: This diver pulls double
duty in town and up north and is thankfully one of
the only divers who fully endorses the benefits of
deep-fried anything.
|
|
Got a dirty little secret?
Looking for guidance to remedy a sticky situation?
Seek help from the
master of the kitchen! The Dish Diver has solutions
to life's little messes. Send your problems to "Ask
the Diver." - By mail to Durango Telegraph - Attn
Diver -534 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301; by email at
telegraph@durangotelegraph.com,
or by fax at 259-0448. |
Dear Diver,
My grandfather is 82 and has been a widow for about six
years. He recently started dating a woman in her 40s. This
is good for him but I can tell it is making some members
of my family uncomfortable, namely my parents. My father
thinks it is weird to have this woman, who is about 12
years younger than he, end up his step mom. Should he feel
this way? I don’t mind, I think its good for Granddad,
and his girlfriend is quite attractive. What would you
tell my dad?
– Curious Grandson,
Grandview
Dear Curious Grandson,
Your grandfather is 82 years young and probably at his
happiest since the passing of his wife. My granddaddy
always said young folks bring the youth out in him. I
would tell your father to give grandpa a steady dose
of Viagra and let him enjoy his remaining years. Stay
happy pimpin’ grand pappy!
– Yours in youthful exuberance,
Diver
Dear Diver,
Is lite beer better for you?
– Wondering,
Charles
Charles,
Being of Irish descent I have never consumed light beer.
There is only dark beer and darker beer. But it is a
fact that Guinness contains 120 calories per 12 ounces
and Bud Light contains 110 calories per 12 ounces. So
if you’re concerned with weight I’d lay off
the munchies!
Drink up,
Diver
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