You’re so good at giving out advice, what’s
the best advice anyone has given you?
The best and only advice you ever need is “When in doubt,
whip it out!”
Are “The Clapper” or a “Chia Pet”
legitimate holiday gifts? I know it’s all about the giving,
but I know people want product with a price tag. What do you
The Clapper or a Chia Pet would not be legitimate in my house.
I advise the Foreman Grill, Oxyclean or the Abforce. If you
are worried about price tags, I heard the Bowflex is inexpensive.
– Happy shopping,
My mother has a lot of “helpful” opinions
about how to raise my son, who is seven. When I disagree with
her, she’ll say something like, “Well I did a pretty
good job with you, so I guess I know what I’m talking
about.” How do I argue with that?
It is never a good idea to argue with Mom. But if you don’t
want your son growing up a to be a Nancy, don’t take too
much advice from Grandma. I suggest you keep laying on the whippings
when he is insolent.
– Good luck,
Diver: Steve Gould of Cuckoos
Facts: We have the facts, but
the truth is, third time’s a charm for this re-repeat
Got a dirty little secret?
Looking for guidance to remedy a sticky situation?
Seek help from the
master of the kitchen! The Dish Diver has solutions
to life's little messes. Send your problems to "Ask
the Diver." - By mail to Durango Telegraph - Attn
Diver -534 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301; by email at
or by fax at 259-0448.
I just found out my fiance has been cheating
on me. Knowledge of this has left me feeling hurt, dejected
and downright awful. My days alternate between self pity
and complete rage and anger. Bottom line is, I’m going
to do something drastic, something I may regret. What the
hell did I do to ever deserve this? Tell me something comical
that will alleviate these feelings.
– Down and out and angry
Dear Mr. Angry,
There must be a reason for her to cheat.
Are you pulling down the Benjamin’s? Has your Viagra
prescription run dry? Or are you just casting a larger shadow
nowadays? Don’t do anything drastic, Mr. Angry, for
you have just received the best Christmas present of all,
a license to go find your own “mistress for Christmas.”
– Happy revenge,
I notice a lot of questions sent
to the Diver make references to pop culture, music, movies
and things like that. Are you all geeks?
Well, that’s a tough
one. I may be the least qualified in the pop culture knowledge,
as my favorite TV show is “The A Team” and my
favorite band is Warrant. As far as being geeks, if you call
being up to your armpits in a sink full of slop on a nightly
basis geeklike, so be it.