Diver-Steve Gould of Cuckoos
Years in the industry-15
Claim to fame-Encore performance of
I am a former Durango resident now US ARMY corporal stationed
at the Diego Garcia Air Base south of the Persian Gulf. Currently
I make $680 a month as a foot soldier here in the Middle East.
I need to know, who the hell do these major league baseball
players (and other pro athletes for that matter) think they
are, bitching over millions of dollars to play a stupid game,
when I’m out here defending freedom for less than $1,000
a month? I think we should round up all the players in the major
and professional leagues and draft them. However, you may have
a better answer. Basically, all of us in the military are pissed
at the selfishness and arrogance of professional athletes. What
should be done?
Yours in freedom and democracy,
Cpl. Jack Salb,
That’s a long-winded question. Well Jack, unlike yourself,
professional athletes have an excruciatingly dangerous job.
Getting up every morning for a two-hour massage and hitting
the hot tub for another half hour can wear down the body and
soul. Never mind the stressful travel on the custom chartered
and catered jets. It’s only a game, but somebody has to
do it. Somebody has to take one for the team.
Good luck and thanks,
My boss recently caught me reading The Telegraph while I was
on the clock. He threatened to let me go if it happens again,
but your paper gets me through long afternoons out here at the
button factory. Should I just ignore my boss, and risk my job?
My advice to you is to keep reading the paper because that is
more enriching than being surrounded by seven TVs for eight
hours a day, which is what I indulge in daily.
Why doesn’t the majority of this town support live music?
Do people here like music other than Phish and the Panic band,
or are they just shallow and narrow minded?
There is no need to go out and spend your hard-earned cash when
you can sit on your duff with the wide variety of MTV, VHI and
the Country Music Channel.
Thanks and keep watching,
I think you are a prime candidate for President of Fort Lewis
College. Ever consider this position?
I’m not qualified for the job because I don’t have
to wake up every morning and look at my ID to remember my name.
My boyfriend has been avoiding me and acting “suspiciously”
whenever I question where he has been. Is this a sign that he
is cheating? Please help.
Broken hearted in Hermosa.
Ms. Broken Hearted,
My advice to you is to turn the tables on him. See if he becomes
suspicious when you come home night after night smelling like
broasted chicken and cleaning materials.
See you soon!
Got a dirty little secret? Need
to clean your conscience? Looking for guidance to remedy a
Seek help from the master
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By mail to Durango Telegraph - Attn Diver -534 Main Ave.,
Durango, CO 81301; by email at email@example.com,
or by fax at 259-0448.