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This week’s Diver: Crispy from Carver's
Years in the Dishwashing Industry: Many
Claim to Fame: Lost a piece of his finger in
a bizarre kitchen accident
Dear Diver,
I’d like to know the best way to deal with the bikers
that are still coming. Do I stay in town and cope with the noise
and the smell of humans
who have collected dust and debris
from Daytona to Sturgis? Or should I
simply leave town?
– Paula Hayden,
Gem Village
Dear Paula,
Just get wasted on booze the whole
time, and you won’t even care. You won’t care about
the smell either.
Yours truly,
Diver
Dear Diver,
I don’t feel very safe knowing that police are susceptible
to beat-downs. What can I do to protect myself?
– Brian Patrick,
Durango
Dear Brian,
Carry a club. You don’t want firearms unless you know
how to use them. If you’ve bribed the cops in the past,
you shouldn’t have to pay them as much as you used to.
Yours truly,
Diver
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Dear
Diver,
Do you hate the “Family Circus” as
much as I do?
– Ted,
Durango
Dear Ted,
I don’t hate it after I cross out the
caption and write my own. I do it, my
roommate does it. It makes it bearable at
least.
Yours truly,
Diver
Dear Diver,
Palmolive or Dawn?
– Kerry Murphy,
Hesperus
Dear Kerry,
The answer is Dawn. It takes grease
out of your way.
Yours truly,
Diver
Dear Diver,
With water shortages on the horizon,
what does this mean for dishwashing?
– Walter Thompson,
Durango
Dear Walter,
Lick it. Just lick it.
Yours truly,
Diver
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Got a dirty little secret? Need
to clean your conscience? Looking for guidance to remedy a
sticky situation?
Seek help from the master
of the kitchen! The Dish Diver has solutions to life's little
messes. Send your problems to "Ask the Diver." -
Bymail to Durango Telegraph - Attn Diver -534 Main Ave., Durango,
CO 81301; by email at telegraph@durangotelegraph.com,
or by fax at 259-0448.
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