ASK THE DIVER

This week’s Diver: Crispy from Carver's
Years in the Dishwashing Industry: Many
Claim to Fame: Lost a piece of his finger in a bizarre kitchen accident

Dear Diver,
I’d like to know the best way to deal with the bikers that are still coming. Do I stay in town and cope with the noise and the smell of humans
who have collected dust and debris
from Daytona to Sturgis? Or should I
simply leave town?
– Paula Hayden,
Gem Village

Dear Paula,
Just get wasted on booze the whole
time, and you won’t even care. You won’t care about the smell either.
Yours truly,
Diver

Dear Diver,
I don’t feel very safe knowing that police are susceptible to beat-downs. What can I do to protect myself?
– Brian Patrick,
Durango

Dear Brian,
Carry a club. You don’t want firearms unless you know how to use them. If you’ve bribed the cops in the past, you shouldn’t have to pay them as much as you used to.
Yours truly,
Diver

 

 

Dear Diver,
Do you hate the “Family Circus” as
much as I do?
– Ted,
Durango

Dear Ted,
I don’t hate it after I cross out the
caption and write my own. I do it, my
roommate does it. It makes it bearable at
least.
Yours truly,
Diver

Dear Diver,
Palmolive or Dawn?
– Kerry Murphy,
Hesperus

Dear Kerry,
The answer is Dawn. It takes grease
out of your way.
Yours truly,
Diver

Dear Diver,
With water shortages on the horizon,
what does this mean for dishwashing?
– Walter Thompson,
Durango

Dear Walter,
Lick it. Just lick it.
Yours truly,
Diver

The Diver du jour, Crispin from Carver's and his mangled digit.

Got a dirty little secret? Need to clean your conscience? Looking for guidance to remedy a sticky situation?

Seek help from the master of the kitchen! The Dish Diver has solutions to life's little messes. Send your problems to "Ask the Diver." - Bymail to Durango Telegraph - Attn Diver -534 Main Ave., Durango, CO 81301; by email at telegraph@durangotelegraph.com, or by fax at 259-0448.

 

 

 

 


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